Memo To Me!

This is a more comprehensive list of the stuff I plan to do sometime between now and midnight on 31 December.

We'll see how things go.

Aside from things like the work that goes into writing, editing, publishing, and marketing my novels, I have other stuff I really ought to do.

My list of around-the-farm projects includes:

• Hatching the bantam eggs, while trying to avoid buying pressed-foam incubators.  Pressed-foam ? Really? For animals that PECK the instant they shake off the last shell fragment?  Pressed-foam ... you know, the crap you throw OUT to recycle from packaging?  And yet two different farm-supply store employees looked at me as if I was daft when I asked about "bowl and bulb" incubators.  Go figure.
• Build a compost cage of leftover project lumber and leftover chicken netting or hardware cloth.  Have you SEEN the price on the "compost bins"?  Gooooood grief!
• Finish re-doing the overhead of the lanai, so that it can begin to function as a trellis for climbing roses -- specifically for a cutting I plan to beg from my brother-in-law -- a yellow John F. Kennedy that he and my late sister grew at their front porch.
• Fix the falling-through floor in Cat's bedroom, including replacing the sub-flooring, adding under-flooring (it looks like a cross between iron-on interfacing and vinyl flooring, it's neat stuff), and finding a neato vinyl remnant, or some neato self-stick flooring tiles.
• Rip out the living room carpet and the hallway vinyl (or what's left of it after almost 20 years of animals, kids, parties, and life in general) and check the subflooring for soft spots, fix them, lay under-flooring, find some remnant boxes of sticky-tile for the hall, and find inexpensive but actually NICE looking wood-grain or bamboo "hardwood" flooring.
• Force the people in my house to go through their clothes and sort out what can be given away (tee-shirts from high-school, anyone?  When the last person graduated more than 10 years ago?), what can be cut up into household rags, and what can be re-purposed into patches, other clothes, or memory quilts -- and what's actually wear-able.
• Find some kind of headboard/footboard cover for the guest-bed that resides in my bedroom beside my waterbed.
• Find some way of transferring a bunch of ancient VHS tapes to DVD, for space considerations, as well as keepability considerations.  I'll probably end up having to buy one of those converter thingies, as well as RCA-type cables to connect things and actually do that.
• Get some Reellee Cheep thin lattice, and more of the leftover lumber, and build a sort of "cage" round the ugly air conditioner units, the propane-regulators, the trash bins, and maybe, who knows, even round the ugly, needs-painted, propane tank.
• Continue my apparently permanent war on the honeysuckle, as well as kind of clean up various small junque heappes round the farmhouse area.
• And last, but not least, sort through my incredible mess of projects and things to do and recipes, and start, you know, doing them! and photographing them!  and posting the how-to-do-it instructions in here!

Well then! I think I have this blog in working order now, though I'm not sure.

I have all these awesome "New Year's Resolutions" to carry out this year.

One is to actually... you know, blog.

One is to post recipes, craft projects, gardening ideas, and bantam advice.

One is to tell stories.

One is to publish three Kindle-friendly novels.

We'll see what happens, eh?

Hardhats Required!

Please bear with me as I rebuild, reformat, and rethink the blog!

It's spring!

I'm pleased to say that I have the pool up... wow that was huge work, from everyone concerned.


We have a "wally world back yard" pool, and it's 12 feet diameter. But every year it's un-level, it seems as if it's rolling down hill (we live in a place that's the opposite of flat) or it has a "deep end".


Which is funny till you think about the fact that 2 inches is the difference between someone's chin being out of the water, and not! So, this year we built a giant sandbox out of 16 foot 2x8 boards... filled it with 5 tonnes of sand which we had to move basically twice, the truck couldn't get to the pool, so the guy dumped it as close as he could; we whell-barrowed it to the box, then had to move and spread it once there.


Then finally we leveled the sand, spread the tarp, and put up the pool! I'm slowly filling it, letting the wieght of the water completely pack the sand... but it's now knee-deep and of course, I'm in it, every day!


We also finally got the garden ready for the plants, which are sprouting in the living room at the south window and on the back porch. That's been an adventure, let me tell you... SOMEONE, not mentioning any person's names or anything... managed to mix all the pea seeds and bean seeds. It'll be an adventure eating later when they are ready to pick!

Oh puh-leeeze

So I've just been web-surfing, because it's nine in the morning and no one is up but me, which means people appreciate a little quiet.

I made the mistake of actually reading a Yahoo article when I went to check my old email. My gawd what a laugh!

The article had to do with feeding one's family, eating healthy, and saving money. It was ridiculous. How to save money? eat less! How to be healthy? Eat healthy food!

Um... Duh?

Trouble is, the crap they suggested only works for people with, you guessed it, money to burn.

The thing is, most people do want to eat healthy and feed their families healthy meals. But they're road-blocked by the high cost of, well, everything.

So I sat here and thought about it.

Now, I'm not going to dis people's life choices the way the yahoo article and the comments on it, did. And I'm not going to assume that everyone is instantly born knowing what to do and how. But let's see if I can help a little bit.

It's all very well to say Buy stuff on sale! Buy in bulk! Process your own stuff and freeze it! Buy generic! Buy organic! Buy local! Go to farmers' markets! Grow a garden! Cook your own!

Buy stuff on sale? The problem is, most people who REALLY need advice are living sort of hand to mouth. The "extra" five bucks they saved this month? Yeah, they can't put that away towards next month's sale. Why? Becuase suddenly school supplies have to bought, the car breaks down, the electric bill goes up -- yeah. It never ends, does it?

What you can try to do is this: Get a jar, an unused teapot, hell, an old sock. Turn out your pockets/coinpurse into it every evening. Eventually, this "forgotten" money adds up and you can add it to your grocery budget, but that's a long term solution.

Buy in bulk? Sure, if you have a way to store the food so it doesn't go bad or get bugged or moused. Sure, if you find that it's ACTUALLY cheaper. Sometimes it isn't. I compared prices on chicken broth -- the 16 ounce size is 2.3 cents per ounce. The 32-ounce size is 5.2 cents per ounce. Erm, whuuuut? So I looked around a little more. Generic oatmeal? Same price as name brand. Generic "checks" cereal (for making a slightly healthier salty cruncy snack) was twice the price of the name brand. Again, wait, what?

Shop really smart. Check!

Process your own stuff? Yeah, see above. Have you got room, or are you about to turn your living room into a pantry? How big is your freezer really? How expensive are freezer bags, and wraps? Take those into consideration first. If it is worthwhile, great. But be very careful how you package anything to freeze, because freezer-burned stuff is nasty. (This is stuff where air's gotten in and frozen, or the edges of the product are dried because they were exposed, and so on.) When we process deer in the winter, I cut it myself (NOT everyone can or should hunt, and NOT everyone can process the meat, just sayin') and I wrap the meat in plastic wrap FIRST then bag it.

How is this cheaper? Well for one thing there's no cost for a land-owner deer tag here. I buy the plastic wrap in bulk, storebrand. (there is absolutely no difference, whatsoever, between wrap that costs .001 cent per foot, and wrap that costs 1.0 cent per foot.) Same with the bags, and, the bags are re-usable since the MEAT never touches them -- only the plastic wrap. The same applies for veggies grown in the garden or bought in bulk from the grocer or market. Keep veggies as "whole" as you can, wrap them, then bag them. Yes, indeed, wrap peas, beans, lengthwise quarters of squash, and so on. It does work -- if you have a freezer.

Home can? Um, yeah, you go right ahead with that. I'm scared. First of all, by the time you factor in the jars and sterilising them, the rings and sterilising them, and the flats -- which you CANNOT REUSE!!!!!!!, you may find you've spent more per jar of tomatoes than you would have if you'd bought the most expensive brand on the shelf. Add in your time, add in the cost of using the range, blah blah blah... Is it cheaper? is it safer? Only you can decide that. I'll stick to the freezer.

Buy generic! Sure, but beware of the same stuff I mentioned in the part about buying in bulk. Generic is not always cheaper, and it's not always the same quality. Some generic stuff ahs more additives in it than a chemical plant, and a lot of it has MSG in it, which is deadly for some people. Read. Read twice. Then decide.

Buy Organic! Buy Local! Go to a Farmers' Market! These, I'll lump together because they're all three ridiculous. Why? Well, first of all, "organic" is a label anyone can stick on anything. It's not regulated and it's not controlled. In other words, "it don't mean shit". You can stick organic on a blouse that's 20% cotton, 80% synthetic, and it's legal. Imagine what you can do with food.

Buy Local? Please. Someone who lives, by necessity, in the middle of a city even as small as Kansas City or St. Louis, isn't able to buy local. They might be able to buy things produced in Missouri, Kansas, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, or Arkansas, but how "local" is that, anyway? Yes, it's great to keep money in the vague general area of one's own community, but when "local products" are coal and tourism, then, what, precisely, are you going to buy for your table?

Farmers' Markets are the biggest joke I have ever seen. Our small rural agricultural community has two, one of which is even sponsored by the county government (in that, they get the space free and all that). Prices on tomatoes? Four times the price of the same vine ripened tomatoes from Arkansas. Prices on peaches? Six times the price of the same peaches from Nebraska. Sweetcorn? TEN times the price of the corn from Iowa. Why? Because it's labour-intensive to grow these things on a small basis. Now, when there are products available from the local Amish community -- YES, those are much cheaper and probably really ARE organically grown. But you know what? Our local Amish community sells in bulk to the small local supermarket (which out-sells Wal-Fart year after year) and therefore, here at least, supermarket prices are lower.

Farmers' Markets in other areas? Yeah good luck with that. You know, the getting up at 4am, getting the kids ready, driving (or worse for some -- riding multiple trans and/or buses) out to the market, only to find that you can't buy much at once because you have to cart it all home. Somehow. And keep track of your kids, too. Somehow. Total round trip cost for a friend of mine from Albany ? (Albany is the capital of New York State, btw)....

Transport (Mom, 2 kids) = $29 round trip. Transport Mom, 2 kids, to grocery store? $7. Wait, what? Farmers Market = more than 3x the price of the grocery store? Wow, better be some AWESOME bargains there. Oh. Hmm. Fresh green beans, $1 a pound, if you buy 5 or more pounds. Well, no freezer. No room in the small apartment FOR a freezer. No bargain. Cornfed beef, $4 a pound, if you buy a side or quarter. Oh, wow, okay so hang this in the shower and let it air-dry, and hope we eat it up before it rots? No bargain. You see where this is in fact going? I thought you would!

Grow a garden! Okay, yes. And if you can't grow a garden, try a tomato plant on your deck or front porch or apartment "balcony", if you have one. If you don't, then oh wait I know, buy a grow-light (full spectrum, usually flourescent bulb). You can't afford it? And can't afford the $5 a month to turn the grow-lamp on? Wow you suck! Yes, believe it or not, there are people out there who literally could not afford a $5 raise in their electric bill to grow a few tomatoes.

But if you CAN grow a garden, do so. You'll have to budget, starting in advance, for the pots and soil, or for the small amount of gas to run a tiller, or maybe even for the materials to build a raised bed. (Personally, I ditched the raised-bed crap. It cost too much to make, and wasn't economical, because we couldn't use "found" objects. Why spend money on blocks or boards or whatever? That's money you're taking out of the food budget.) If you have absolutely horrible soil, as we do, living where a brick factory was for decades, then you'll have to compost and enrich the soil. You can do that without too much work or cost, just by using your kitchen scraps, and by using dead leaves (but not grass clippings), and by using the stuff you shovel out of the chicken yard. (Yes, as a matter of fact, I do finally have my bantams!) You'll have to put this stuff in a pile somewhere near to the garden and rake or shovel it around every now and then, but it will, eventually, help.

But if you grow a garden, factor in a few things.
Will my family eat this veggie or am I growing it because I "should"?
How expensive is water, and can I "catch" or "save" water from rain? (You think this isn't a big deal? Go talk to some Aussie women.)
How much work is this going to be, and will I have time to plant, weed, pick, and process, or does the job I MUST have to at least pay the taxes and mortgage, leave me so damned tired that we're lucky my eyes are open?

Things like that also go into the "Cook for yourself!" That's great advice, and you don't have to be a cordon-bleu chef to feed your family. But if you're so worn out with the thigns that have to be done, let alone things you'd like to do, that you simply are too tired to cook, then you're going to end up shopping for the cheap, easy, pre-made food, slapping it in the micro, and tossing it on the table.

And then you're going to feel guilty as all hell because you did all that.

Stop it. Learn to cook a few fast easy meals, so you can CUT DOWN on the prepackaged stuff which, in spite of what the nice little websites would fantasise about, is sometimes cheaper than any collection of fresh cooked stuff even if you don't factor in time and shopping. Eventually you'll have a repertoire of things your family will eat, that you can cook, and that are good for them.

A lot of these articles say to fill up on beans, lentils, rice -- sure, go for it. Hope there's no one in your family who's diabetic, cause all that carb overload is gonna cost you anyway -- in the form of their insulin or oral anti-diabetic medication. You can, however, fill up on green beans, fresh or frozen (not canned). Serve less meat and use more tofu! Okay, sure. But only if no one in your family has ever had any risk factor for breast cancer, estrogen-responsive or not. Wait, you say you're female and have a pulse? Oh, you're screwed right there -- you are 100% likely to have some form of breast issue, because you're female, with a pulse. Forget the tofu. All the people who like to point at the far-eastern nations and claim how low their incidence of heart disease is? Yay for them. They didn't mention the horrendously high incidences of breast and reproductive cancer.

No. Instead, use as much salad (cheapie lettuce, baby carrots, radishes, celery, UN-pre-cut) as you can, and as many green frozen or freshies as you can, and limit a serving of meat to 6 ounces at the main meal of the day, and not more than 2 ounces at mid-meal or breakfast. Then add rice, taters, or beans. Stay away from breads and muffins; even if you bake your own they may not be cheaper, and they are big carb loads, of the WRONG carbs. Have oatmeal for breakfast, for instance, with fresh or dried fruit.

And don't get trapped into thinking whole wheat bread, or a "wrap" (fancy talk for tortilla) is better for you. It's not; the stuff is the same across the board -- wheat in some form, fat in some form, other additives in some form. That's why it's called bread or tortilla and not treebranches or something.

Biggest way to save? Plan your meals. ALL the meals, Breakfast, Snack, Midmeal, Snack, Evening meal, Snack -- for every day. If that's scary, plan for a week, and shop for a week. Plan the meals and write down EVERYTHING you need to prepare them from salt to meat to whatever spices. Remember that leftovers, or Leff Tovers or Re Cookifieds, can be used for snacks, or to add to another meal.

Then go through your kitchen and pantry and check off what you already have. What's left is that week's grocery list. Add the must-have toiletries (think these through, generics in THIS area are just as good as name brands, be it shampoo or toilet paper) and add in any pet food.

Shop where you ENJOY shopping or at least don't hate it. This may mean Wal-Fart, which I personally loathe for food purchases. (I won't buy food at our local Wal-Fart, after finding milk sitting for hours on the loading dock, and after finding meat in a freezer to be thawed and runny. But not everyone's Wal-Fart sucks.) It may mean a small market like Country Mart, which is a "chain" of five family owned grocery stores in Missouri. But you get the idea.

Bring it home, carry it in, cut up or repagage large buys of meat and vegetables, and make the kids put away the toiletries.

Next week, try making the menus for TWO weeks. And so on. Over time, you will find this saves you time and money. It's NOT a quick fix to an "oh god, do I pay the mortgage or buy food" situations. I truly and sincerely wish I DID have a quick fix for that, but I don't. Learning to budget, shop, and cook does take time.

And, while I truly believe one parent should stay at home while there are kids under 12 in the family, I know that's not possible for everyone. You will also have to learn to budget your time, and make kids help. It won't hurt them to learn that the world isn't a free ride. It won't hurt them to learn to make a bed, carry in a bag, or weed a row of beans. They may bitch, and at first it may take ten times as long as it would have taken you, but in the long run, it IS worth it, in terms of contribution to the family, building character, and believe it or not, self-esteem. Your kids will know they can contribute, and that they're worthwhile in part because of that.

This has been a long rant even for me! So in closing, I'll just add -- Whatever you read, here or on any other site, don't take it as carved in stone. READ it, think about it, consider whether or not it actually would work for your family. And, above all else, don't let anyone "guilt" you over how you run your house. No one else is sitting in your car, or sweeping your floor, or standing in front of your micro or range. YOU are. You know your family. And you know yourself.

Do your best, for your family and yourself, and to hell with the hype!

Birthday Time

Things I've learned in 48 years, in absolutely no particular order ....

1) Breast cancer isn't always fatal, no matter how advanced it is and what stage it's in.

2) Children cannot wait, especially for a hug.

3) There really are pictures in the clouds.

4) Walls can come down. A big one did, in Berlin.

5) Vote. Even if you can't vote FOR someone or something, you can always vote AGAINST someone or something.

6) Teenagers need their space, but they also need your presence.

7) NASA is awesome but it doesn't know everything. Pathfinder proved that.

8) A computer full of recipes is no substitute for a printout, or even better, a card handwritten by your great-grandmother.

9) Sometimes "going green" isn't, in fact, any greener, and may actually harm the environment more. Flourescent lightbulb replacements with their dangerous mercury content and their seizure-producing side effects are an example of this.

10) There's a reason that "god" and "dog" contain the same letters.

11) Sometimes "good enough" really IS good enough.

12) Ask yourself who you are keeping house for -- Yourself? The neighbors? A fantasy interview with a home-arts magazine?

13) Bantam eggs are still the best.

14) There is no substitute, anywhere, for hot cocoa and a dog on your lap.

15) Smile. It may not do anything important, but it will make people wonder what you're up to.

16) Cry. You burp after you drink a Co'cola, don't you? Crying is the same thing, a tension-release.

17) You don't need a man. Or a woman. But if you have one, appreciate him.

18) Why are you saving the good china and the nice stemware? The most important guests you will every have are your family.

19) Holidays should never be stressful. Stop buying into the hype.

20) There is no substitute for the gift of love, freely given, even if it's only expressed quietly.

21) Grow something. Whether you live in a high-rise or on a farm, grow SOMETHING green.

22) Prioritise. Yes, the floor may need mopped. But playing with a child is more fun. The floor will be there tomorrow. The child may grow up over night.

23) If you ever find someone to be "irreplaceable", replace him or her immediately.

24) Neatness counts. Except with kids and dogs.

25) Fresh eggs SINK. Spoiled eggs FLOAT.

26) Have a plan. Then throw it out if it doesn't work.

27) Try. The worst that happens is that you fail, so you can start over.

28) The internet is a good friend but a poor master. Get your butt up off the chair and go outside.

29) Sudsy water or vinegar and water will clean things better than pricey cleansers.

30) Breakfast is a state of mind, not a sit-down meal. But don't skip it.

31) Daffydillies and roses always bloom. No matter how harsh the winter may have been.

32) Kids need time to -- BE KIDS.

33) Related to that, if your kid is in sports or any other club, remember, it's for the KID, not for you to compete with the other parents.

34) If you can dream it, you can become it, but you may have to work your ass off to make it happen.

35) Children never grow up. You will always need your father or mother, and your child will always need you.

36) Death is a doorway, and it isn't final. But you can still grieve and you will still miss people who are gone.

37) If it sticks and should not, WD40. If it does not stick and should, Duct Tape.

39) Adventurous sex is fun. Unplanned pregancy is not. Be careful.

40) If two sources of information give mutually exclusive results, go with your gut.

41) You can't fix stupid. You flat out can't.

42) Just once, go to the mountains. Just once, go to the ocean.

43) Good chocolate is usually worth it.

44) Look at the stars.

45) Good literature endures. Popular literature doesn't, but it can be fun while it lasts.

46) Pay yourself first. Even if you only clean out your pockets into a fruit jar every week, do it. Eventually, you'll have a little savings.

47) There really IS a sucker born every minute (even though P.T. Barnum never actually said this) Don't believe me? Watch TV for an hour.

48) Life is never too short, nor is it too long. It' s always just right. But what you DO with your life makes that difference.

Stuff and Things

What is it about this time of year that gets under my skin so much? It's too cold or the ground's too hard to work outside on garden prep, chickenhouse building, or the (continuous, dammit) home repairs.... It's not really cold enough for me to want to pretend I'm a bear instead of a wolf and hibernate 23/7.... I half-want to clean, organise, declutter things... I half-want to say "Oh the hell with it, I can't keep ahead of the ravenous junque collecteurs I live with"... Part of me wants to yell and holler at the people who for SOME unknown reason cannot put an item back where they got it, even when they are standing 3.2 inches from its proper place....

And don't even talk to me about the animals.... Horrid little beasts! One of them has forgotten what a litterbox is for (Clone). One of them knows quite well what it's for -- kicking the litter and *ahem* stuff out of onto the floor, in a walkway (Lucky). Two of them hate the litterbox anyway, and would rather go outside and DIE than poop in a sanitary plastic tray full of environmentally sound corn-by-product (Nana and Visions). Snowy (Lyn's cockatiel) now screams for no reason -- not just because someone has bothered her -- just to scream. And the sugar gliders are itchy, so we have to run a NON ULTRASONIC humidifier which frankly is noisy as hell. We got a companion dog for Cat (the person) for Yuletide; he looks like what we called a "poi dog" when we lived in Hawaii. Buster's a great kid; he plays with Biddy. It's total comedy, particularly when you consider, Buster at age 3 probably weighs all of 9 pounds (hell, Lucky is heavier!) and then there's Biddy... at 89.2 pounds. So, Buster's on one end of a rope tug, dangling.... From Biddy, who has the other end of the tug in her mouth. They do other cute stuff but that's the bestest.

I mentioned Lucky, above, and it made me think about the whole crew really. Clone, the oldest, was the kitten of Mist, a barn cat given to me when we first moved back to the Ozarks. She's about 17 years old, possibly 19. I can't even remember now because she's been around so long. She's still able to eat, purr, and pee (anywhere but her box) even though it's evident that she's really old now. She can also still catch, and eat, mice. Her silver-grey fur has a slightly brownish tinge now; the vet says that's just age, which is also the reason that her sea-green eyes have faded to a more golden shade now.

Next oldest of the bunch is Snowy, the cockatiel. Small bird, not the huge screaming thing, big difference between a cockaTIEL and a cockatoo, which is what most people think I mean when I mention her. She's white with a yellow crest and pale orange cheek patches; like all her breed she's pretty fastidious about her grooming and her food. Now she's cranky, though, and instead of saying "Ryu" and "Whee!" she mostly communicates in a noise similar to fingernails on a blackboard. She's the last of 3 cage-birds we had; Artie Deco was the first, and Snowy was originally supposed to be his girlfriend, but that didn't really work out for him. There was also Skittles the Lovebird. Everyone says not to have a single lovebird, but that's baloney; Cat raised him from the time he wasn't even fully fledged, and believe me, he never needed a mate. Both Artie and Skittles are gone now; we were told that cockatiels generally live 10 to 12 years, and lovebirds live 10 to 15 years. Both birds far exceeded this projection, as has Snowy, who is still alive and screeching at 17.

So, Clone, then Snowy, then Nanashi. Now, if you know Japanese, you may realise that Nana's name is a pun. Nana was rescued from under the porch of a rundown house on the wrong side, of the wrong side of the tracks. When I hauled him out, he was smaller than your average coffeecup. Hells'Bells, the FLEAS on him, were almost as big AS him, I swear. I bathed him in a Motel Six sink the night I found him, and discovered he was even smaller than I thought. When he finally dried, he was a delicate ball of long ginger fluff. I'd seriously never seen anything so beautiful and so unimaginably soft to the touch. He forgave me for that bath finally... about 3 years ago. Nana is 15 years old, and he's still one of the most beautiful creatures I know. A lot of the time, Lyn refers to him as the Little Lion, and Nana-baby-kitty-kins. (Don't laugh. She's 25 years old; there is no way I'm going to be able to make her stop babytalking to that cat now.) Now for the pun... He's a little bastard, not really by temperment but by actual birth. In the old days a bastard was a "nameless one". Nanashi means -- no-name. Get it? hahaha?

Like most of our animals, Lyn taught Nanashi to drink from straws and eat from forks. Oh. Did I say taught? Well, not really. When Lyn was growing up, and when she'd come home in summers from university, she would sit at her desk, writing programs or drawing, or any of the other things Lyns do... and when she'd have a drink or snack, she'd share with whoever was nearby. I'd sit and watch sometimes, distracted from my own stuff, as Lyn would take a bite of noo-noos, then wind a noo-noo round a chopstick and offer it to Nana. Lyn would take a slurp of tea or soda (she always has loved straws and sippy cups, even as a "grown up"), and then offer the sippy-lid or straw to Nana. She also did this with other dogs and cats as they entered our lives. It was hilarious. Nana would sit on top of her monitor (this was before flatscreens) and Clone would sit on her lap -- or vice versa, but either way, they'd share. Nana also used to LOVE to lean over the top of the telly and watch the screen as Lyn played Sonic or any one of a few dozen other Sega games.

During this time we also had Ren and Milo and Lassie, all of whom are gone now.

Then came Biddy. Lassie had been gone for a few months, and Cat and Lyn decided they couldn't stand ME without a dog, so ... they got me one. My little Biddy black puppy.... You know, that dog now weighs more than Lyn. I think that's hilarious. But there's plenty about Biddy in other places, so on to ....

Visions. Visions the cat is a beautiful shorthaired, goldeneyed, black male. At the moment, he's been outdoors (yes, in below-freezing weather) for over 24 hours, because for some reason, he can't stand being in the house other than to eat. He and I have been arguing for the past month or so about whether or not he needs to be out in this weather. I've given up, frankly. I just hope he has brains enough (he does have) to crawl up into the torn bellywrap of the trailer and sit on the ductwork, and not freeze, and I'm just relieved when he mews imperiously at the door to be let in. If he didn't weigh as much as a small dog, I'd be more worried, I think. Like, crawling under the house or searching the woods, worried. I don't even like cats, really, and I like Visions, but the idiocy has to stop or I'll go nuts.

And then there is Lucky. Last August, Lucky wandered up onto the lanai, screaming. His throat had been torn out, then the wound had abcessed, and.... He was a mess. I've never seen an animal hurt that badly that survived. We brought him in and bathed him -- he was so ill, he LET us. Then I gave him warm chicken broth, every four hours, with vitamins mixed in. I was afraid to give him solid food -- you could count every bone in his body at that point. By the next evening, his fur was already softer and the horrendous wound under his chin and on his throat was granulating. By Monday when I was finally able to get him to the vet (David Edwards, DVM, of Osceola Missouri, is a saint. If there is a heaven, David should be at the highest level of it) Lucky was actually starting to look like a cat. David said he was astonished that he'd lived through the weekend. He cleaned Lucky's chin and throat, shot him full of antibiotics, gave me a liquid antibiotic to squirt down Lucky's throat twice daily... And said he was amazed not only that Lucky was alive at all, but that he'd found the house of the ONE crazy old lady who would take care of him. Yes, there are other houses on this road, though they're few and far between. And yes, I think I know quite well who abandoned this cat to the mercies of the forest. And yes, I am emphatically a "dog girl". But Lucky knew. He saw the lights, he heard and smelled us, and he knew -- he would be safe here.

A year later? wow. Amazing. He's a big, well-muscled, yelloweyed beauty. He's a shorthair, and he's black and white. He looks as if he's wearing a mickeymouse hat because the top of his head and his ears are black. His back is black -- except for a narrow white strip of fur. People keep telling me to get a Sharpie and colour it in, because he looks like a skunk. Hmph. I'm sure you can figure out, from his story, why he's called Lucky. And, although as I said above, I'm not really into cats, I admire the hell out of this cat. It took balls -- and luck -- for him to even be here.

Don't get me wrong, I find cats very valuable for vermin control round the house and farm. And I enjoy watching cats move or hunt, because they're so elegant even when they're... well... not being elegant. But I never really liked them as pets.

This pride, however, is changing my mind.

Winter Holiday Week!

Wheee, it's Midwinter!

Whatever it is you celebrate this holiday as, we all know it's an awesome time of year. And one of the best things about this time of year is ... THE FOOD!

So without further ado, on to the food.

Roast Beast and Yorkshire Pudding, Green Beans, CranOrange Stuff, and Cranberry Bread
This is our traditional Solstice dinner. I'm pretty sure I've given the Cranberry Bread recipe somewhere in this blog, so I won't repeat it.

Roast Beast
You'll need 6 ounces uncooked weight of meat per person you're serving. A family of four, for instance, needs a roast that's about a pound and a half. Check your cookbook to find the proper internal temperature (and therefore the hours of cooking time) for your roast. Remember, POULTRY finishes at a much higher internal than beef, pork, lamb, or venison.

Take the thawed roast (or turkey or large baking hen) and rinse it well. Pat it dry.

Turn the oven on to the recommended temp for the type and size of beast you're cooking.

In a bowl mix salt, pepper, garlic powder OR crushed fresh garlic, diced onions, and possibly your fave "spice mix". In another bowl, soften 2 Tablespoons of butter, and then moosh it around with an equivalent amount of good olive oil. Now, rub this all over your meat. Then sprinkle on your spice mix.

The oven won't be ready yet, so get the pan you plan to roast this in, and a rack. If you haven't got a rack, then take some aluminium foil and make tight "snakes". Coil these in the bottom of the pan and you can put the beast on that. If you haven't got a lid or top for your pan, make a foil tent.

Stick the roast in the hot oven, insert a thermo if you have one (DO NOT rely on the "pop up" thermo in purchased turkeys. Really. Please dun't.) If not, get out your stick-in meat thermo and keep it handy by. When the specified amount of cooking time has elapsed, check the meat temp. If it doesn't match what the book says it should -- Leave the roast beast alone for another 15 minutes. You can repeat this process till the temp is right.

During the roasting time, you're going to make your CranOrange stuff and your Green Beans.

CranOrange Goo
For the CranOrange Stuff, take 1 cup of cranberries and chop or food-proccessorise them to a coarse grind. Scrub an orange, then zest the entire outside. Then peel off the weird white stuff, and squish up (but not "juice) the orange. Put the cranberries and the orange squish into a small pan and add 1 cup of water, and 1/4 cup of sugar. Turn the heat on low, and stir till your hands get tired. It will thicken and gel very slightly. When it has, turn the heat off, get a dish, and pour it into the dish. (I use a crystal bowl, cause I like lookin' at the Stuff). Put the dish UNCOVERED in the frige to chill and set. This will not taste like the strange stuff you get in a can. It's tonnes better!

Green Beans
Once the Stuff is made, toward the end of the beast-roasting, get out the green beans. If you bought them frozen, just run warm water on them to thaw, and don't tell anyone. If you froze them yourself, thaw them gently in slightly cooler water. If you just went out and picked them (Oh you lucky south-of-the-equator people), then wash them and snap the ends, but leave them long. Once they're thawed or washed, drain them. While they drain, cut up 2 slices of bacon into about finger-widths and fry them, then pour off MOST of the oil, and set the bacon aside. Fry the beans, very quickly -- you basically just want them hot all the way through, and want them to turn a beautiful bright green. Once they're cooked, sprinkle the drained bacon back on them, and cover to keep warm.

Gravy
Open the oven and check the roast beast. Pour off about a half cup of dripping (carefully). Heat this in a pan on the range top. While it heats, mix about 1/2 cup of flour, a pinch of salt, and about 2 cups of water together till smooth. Easiest way to do this? Why, in a jar with a lid! and shake it baby! When the drippings are bubbling, slowly pour in the flour-water mix, stirring like a madwoman the whole time. When the flour tastes "cooked", and not like flour anymore, turn the heat almost off, and use a "tamer" if you have one. Keep the gravy warm, and stir it once in a while to preclude lumpifying.

Yorkshire Pudding
Now, for the Yorkshire Pudding! In a bowl put 1 cup flour, 1 teaspoon of salt, and a PINCH, a bare pinch! of baking soda. Stir it up good. In a separate bowl, combine 3/4 cup milk, 1/2 cup water, and up to 3 eggs. Mix or beat or whisk this until it's a pretty sunny yellow colour. Now, stir it into your dry ingredients, just until everything is moistened -- do not over mix this, seriously. It's okay that there are little bumpy floury bits. Really. Trust me.

By now the beast should be done. It will need to sit for about 15 minutes before you carve it, or all the juices will ooze out and frankly, who wants a non-juicy roast beast? Take the beast out and set it aside. Turn up the oven to 400 degrees, and put an iron skillet on the middle shelf. If you haven't an iron skillet, you can use a pie pan or a heavy baking pan -- DO NOT use glass. After about 5 minutes, very carefully take the skillet out of the oven -- it's going to be hot! -- and remember the bacon fat you poured off earlier? Pour that carefully into the skillet, and be sure it covers the whole bottom. If it doesn't, it's perfectly fine to add a tiny bit of vegetable oil. Now, pour the Yorkshire Pudding into the very hot pan, and put it back into the oven for a good 15 minutes at 400 degrees. While it cooks, you chase the cats off the table, get out the china, and yell at people to start washing their hands, and carve the roast beast. (If you're doing a turkey, and you have the whole "carve at the table" tradition -- then just make the preliminary cuts at wing and drumstick.) Check the green beans; if they're not hot, zap them in the micro for a few seconds (about 30 for most micros). Put the gravy in a bowl or boat.

The Yorkshire Pudding should be done by now, the beans should be hot, and the Stuff should be cold. VERY CAREFULLY get that skillet full of Yorkshire Pudding out, and slide the pudding onto a plate (yes, I know. In some families, they put the skillet on the table. I do too, when there aren't small people running about) and cut it as you would a pie.

Make sure you've got out whatever wine you're using, or bubbly juice if your family doesn't do booze. Get everyone to the table, and serve -- Beast first, then Yorkshire Pudding, then Green Beans, then CranOrange Stuff, then pass the gravy round the table. Once everyone is served, say whatever grace or blessing you feel is appropriate, then pour out the wine or bubbly juice and start the toasting! But don't let the toasting interfere with the eating. At our house we generally toast the President of the US, the Queen, and each other.

Have a very happy holiday, and enjoy your meal!

Holidays!

Wow, it's been a while since I was able to post. We've had a few interesting things go wrong here at the farm, and I had some more reconstructive surgery.

But I'm still in the holiday mood! Oh wow!

One of the forums I read had a question about sending holiday cards. So I thought I'd share my take on that, since for me, this is a wonderful part of the season.

I only send about a dozen cards each year to surviving parents, siblings, and very special friends. But the dozen that I send are special!

I keep my eyes open all the time for Yule cards -- and they may not be exactly "Christmas" or "Yule" cards; one year I found a box of gorgeous blank cards with a painting of a cardinal in the snow on them. (To me, cardinals and snow symbolise this season better than any other image!) One year I found some with Pooh and Eeyore and Piglet and Tigger on them, and so on. And, I don't necessarily find 12 of the *same* card. I just find a dozen cards I like.

On the afternoon of 25th of November, every year, I get out Enya's Oiche Chiun album (that's Silent Night, for non-Gaelic speakers) sit down with a slice of cranberry bread, a cup of coffee, and the cards. I sit down on the couch in the living room, so that I can look out the windows at the woods or the yard depending on whether I look out the south side or the north side.

Sometimes during the year I will have taken a cute, funny, or sweet photo of the animals or a pretty one of the farm or woods, so I print out a dozen small full colour copies. I also make sure to have bought a dozen really lovely Yuletide stamps. I have a dozen "gold foil" monogram seals, too, and my favourite pen.

I write a little note inside each card. I let the music and the view and the snack tell me what to write for each family, if that makes sense. Then I sign each card and tuck it into the envelope with a photo.

When all the cards are done and in the envelopes, by then the Oiche Chiun is over. So I clean a very old vinyl record of "various artists" including the Beach Boys when they *were* boys, Elvis, Bing Crosby, and so on, singing Yule and Christmas music, refill the coffee cup, and address all the envelopes, then stick the flaps down. I put a fancy gold initial seal on each envelope flap, and then the pretty stamp on the front.

By now, the old record is finished, so I put it away again. I rinse out the coffee cup, let the dog lick the cranberry bread plate, and then put on my boots and coat and mittens, and the dog and I walk the mile to the mailbox. Sometimes it's cold and clear, sometimes it's cold and windy, sometimes it's snowing or raining.

As we walk, I sing a very old Yule song called "The Holly".("Oh, the Holly she bears a berry, as white as milk. And the Mother she bore the Son, all wrapped up in silk"... there is also a Christian version of this carol, I think.)

We post the cards, the dog and I, and then we walk back to the house, still singing. By now the sun is setting, and the trees make black lace against the dim grey of the sky. Beside the branches of oak and maple and elm, are the dusky-green brushes of cedar, like embroidery between the lace. All around is the scent of winter, the cold, the odour of woodsmoke, the smell of the cedars, and often, the scent of "wet dog".

And then we're back home, in the light and laughter of the house, and it's nearly suppertime!

I make this into my own special part of the holiday thing. Because the family is fairly spread out, we generally don't exchange gifts. That's why the cards are so very special. Because the cards are special, I make the whole process of sending them special too. This is one holiday thing that I do alone, and if I am not in the holiday spirit because of illness or worries or whatever, then by the time I am done with the cards, and the cranberry bread, and the coffee, and the music, and the walk to the mailbox -- well, by then, I *am* in the spirit and have my equilibrium back.

Pumpkins!

It's pumpkin time! Finally!

Pumpkins rock. They're my favourite veggie, no joke. I like 'em even better than carrots or radishes for eating, or as the kids say for "nomming". (I'm told that comes from the programme Sesame Street -- it was the noise the Cookie Monster made as he ate.)

What pumpkin should you choose?

Well, what are you going to do with it?

It doesn't matter what variety the pumpkin is, nor what colour. What matters is the size. A bigger pumpkin will have less flavour to it, and may be tougher.

How you deal with the pumpkin depends on what you're doing with the pumpkin. For instance, most of the pumpkins people in the US buy are carved for jack-o-lanterns. The white pumpkins were developed to mimic the turnip and tater lanterns carved by people like my grandmothers years ago. The other varieties were hybridised to meet decorating needs, not eating needs. Go figure, huh?

What pumpkins aren't sold for decorating are processed into canned pumpkin, pre-made pumpkin pie "filling", commercially prepared pumpkin pies, and pumpkin seeds.
But guess what, you can do that stuff yourself!

If you are planning to carve the pumpkin for decoration, and are going to use the meat as animal food or compost, then it doesn't matter what size you get. Pumpkin skin, like any squash, is fairly tough. You may find it easier to use small saws, punches, and drills to do your pumpkin, instead of kitchen implements. If you want the pumpkin for eating, then buy pumpkins no bigger than your own head.

When you get your pumpkins home, hose them off outdoors. Let them dry a while. Then decide what you plan to do.

If you will be using the punkin for decorating, then you will probably cut off the BOTTOM. If you are using it as a bowl, you will probably cut off the TOP, leaving the stem intact if you can. If you are just going to use the pumpkin for eating, you will want to cut the pumpkin in half, watermelon-style.

Do this carefully. Pumpkin skin is VERY tough.

Once you have the punkin "open", then you need to get out all the seeds. Pull them out, sqoosh off any pumpkin "string", and put them in a pan of water. We'll get to them later.

Carefully, using a sturdy big spoon -- NOT a knife, and not some silly "pumpkin scraper" from a kit, scoop out the pumpkin guts.

*If you are not going to use the pumpkin, but only the insides, then you would cut the pumpkin into slices, again melon-style, and with a sharp knife, going slowly, you would peel the pumpkin.

Next, rinse off the guts. Make sure you have gotten all the seeds out, and gotten out any of the "slimy" bits. Slimy bits aren't bad or rotten, they're just the parts where the seeds were attached.
Put the guts into a pan and barely cover with water. Turn on the heat to the absolute lowest setting, and leave it alone for a while. You will want to check it every now and then, to be sure there's still water in there. Eventually, the guts will change to a deep rich golden orange (about an hour or two, depending on how much you've got.) At that point, turn off the heat.

Meantime, you have your hollowed out punkin now!

If you're using it as a serving bowl, then go around the inside again and scrape carefully. Remember to leave the BOTTOM fairly thick and unscraped. Slide the pumpkin onto a baking pan; later, half an hour before serving, you'll put it into a 300 degree oven and bake it for 20 minutes to soften it -- but be careful, you don't want it so soft that it won't hold the soup you're ladling into it!

If you're using it as a jack-o-lantern, then go over the inside again, scraping very carefully. You want the pumpkin to be fairly thin, because this makes it much easier to carve your designs.
Once you're finished with the inside, rinse the punkin and dry it again.

Set it on a sturdy work surface, and with a marker, trace your design. Or, take a printed design and lay it on your punkin, taping it in place. With a toothpick or a large sewing needle (like a darning needle) go over the design, punching in carefully -- like making a "connect the dots" in reverse. Take the pattern off, and very lightly dust over the punkin with flour. This will make the dots stand out so you can see them.

Now, using a sharp knife, small saw, punch, and heck I've seen people use their craft drills like Dremel tools -- now cut out your design. Be very careful, and supervise small children. Please!

It's traditional to use candles stuck into a pool of their own melted wax to light your lantern. But I find it more practical to use votive candles in glass holders, or little tiny lights sold for this purpose. I mean, come on, look at the size of my dog, and calculate the average windspeed of her tail wag.... Little lights are safer than candles sometimes!

Punkin Seeds
Now... remember your punkin seeds? Clean 'em good, get all the slimies off them, and rinse them. Bring about 2 cups of water to a boil, stir in about 4 tablespoons of kosher salt and maybe a sprinkle of seasoning salt. Put the seeds in that. Leave them alone for 2 hours. After two hours, pour the water off, spread the seeds on a baking sheet, and roast in a very slow oven for four hours.
OR
After you pour off the water, heat a heavy pan on the range, pour in about two tablespoons of your favourite oil -- barely enough to cover the bottom of the pan -- and drop in your seeds. Stir! Stir, stir, stir! When the seeds begin to sort of "puff" and "pop", you are done. Turn off the heat, cool the seeds, and seal them up in a jar or bag for snacks.

Note -- if you are doing this to make birdseed or small animal seed, don't use the seasoning salt, and cut the kosher salt back to two TEASPOONS.

Preserving Punkin
After you cooked up all your punkin (see above) and cooled it, you'll need to strain it. If you have a fine seive or colandar, use that. If yours isn't so fine, just lay a piece of muslin, or cheesecloth, in the bottom of the colandar and drain that way. Save what you drain to water the houseplants with. It makes them happy.

Once your punkin is drained, you can have some fun, mooshing it up with your hands. Or you can use your blender or food processor. Hands is more funs, as my Nana used to say.

Once it's drained, can it as you would jam or jelly. Or, you can put it into zip-top bags to freeze.
But what are you going to "do" with your punkin? Well....

Pumpkin Soup

Pumpkin Bread

Pumpkin Cookies