Alla's Little Acorn

Oh puh-leeeze

2011-10-09T09:48:00.005-05:00

So I've just been web-surfing, because it's nine in the morning and no one is up but me, which means people appreciate a little quiet.

I made the mistake of actually reading a Yahoo article when I went to check my old email. My gawd what a laugh!

The article had to do with feeding one's family, eating healthy, and saving money. It was ridiculous. How to save money? eat less! How to be healthy? Eat healthy food!

Um... Duh?

Trouble is, the crap they suggested only works for people with, you guessed it, money to burn.

The thing is, most people do want to eat healthy and feed their families healthy meals. But they're road-blocked by the high cost of, well, everything.

So I sat here and thought about it.

Now, I'm not going to dis people's life choices the way the yahoo article and the comments on it, did. And I'm not going to assume that everyone is instantly born knowing what to do and how. But let's see if I can help a little bit.

It's all very well to say Buy stuff on sale! Buy in bulk! Process your own stuff and freeze it! Buy generic! Buy organic! Buy local! Go to farmers' markets! Grow a garden! Cook your own!

Buy stuff on sale? The problem is, most people who REALLY need advice are living sort of hand to mouth. The "extra" five bucks they saved this month? Yeah, they can't put that away towards next month's sale. Why? Becuase suddenly school supplies have to bought, the car breaks down, the electric bill goes up -- yeah. It never ends, does it?

What you can try to do is this: Get a jar, an unused teapot, hell, an old sock. Turn out your pockets/coinpurse into it every evening. Eventually, this "forgotten" money adds up and you can add it to your grocery budget, but that's a long term solution.

Buy in bulk? Sure, if you have a way to store the food so it doesn't go bad or get bugged or moused. Sure, if you find that it's ACTUALLY cheaper. Sometimes it isn't. I compared prices on chicken broth -- the 16 ounce size is 2.3 cents per ounce. The 32-ounce size is 5.2 cents per ounce. Erm, whuuuut? So I looked around a little more. Generic oatmeal? Same price as name brand. Generic "checks" cereal (for making a slightly healthier salty cruncy snack) was twice the price of the name brand. Again, wait, what?

Shop really smart. Check!

Process your own stuff? Yeah, see above. Have you got room, or are you about to turn your living room into a pantry? How big is your freezer really? How expensive are freezer bags, and wraps? Take those into consideration first. If it is worthwhile, great. But be very careful how you package anything to freeze, because freezer-burned stuff is nasty. (This is stuff where air's gotten in and frozen, or the edges of the product are dried because they were exposed, and so on.) When we process deer in the winter, I cut it myself (NOT everyone can or should hunt, and NOT everyone can process the meat, just sayin') and I wrap the meat in plastic wrap FIRST then bag it.

How is this cheaper? Well for one thing there's no cost for a land-owner deer tag here. I buy the plastic wrap in bulk, storebrand. (there is absolutely no difference, whatsoever, between wrap that costs .001 cent per foot, and wrap that costs 1.0 cent per foot.) Same with the bags, and, the bags are re-usable since the MEAT never touches them -- only the plastic wrap. The same applies for veggies grown in the garden or bought in bulk from the grocer or market. Keep veggies as "whole" as you can, wrap them, then bag them. Yes, indeed, wrap peas, beans, lengthwise quarters of squash, and so on. It does work -- if you have a freezer.

Home can? Um, yeah, you go right ahead with that. I'm scared. First of all, by the time you factor in the jars and sterilising them, the rings and sterilising them, and the flats -- which you CANNOT REUSE!!!!!!!, you may find you've spent more per jar of tomatoes than you would have if you'd bought the most expensive brand on the shelf. Add in your time, add in the cost of using the range, blah blah blah... Is it cheaper? is it safer? Only you can decide that. I'll stick to the freezer.

Buy generic! Sure, but beware of the same stuff I mentioned in the part about buying in bulk. Generic is not always cheaper, and it's not always the same quality. Some generic stuff ahs more additives in it than a chemical plant, and a lot of it has MSG in it, which is deadly for some people. Read. Read twice. Then decide.

Buy Organic! Buy Local! Go to a Farmers' Market! These, I'll lump together because they're all three ridiculous. Why? Well, first of all, "organic" is a label anyone can stick on anything. It's not regulated and it's not controlled. In other words, "it don't mean shit". You can stick organic on a blouse that's 20% cotton, 80% synthetic, and it's legal. Imagine what you can do with food.

Buy Local? Please. Someone who lives, by necessity, in the middle of a city even as small as Kansas City or St. Louis, isn't able to buy local. They might be able to buy things produced in Missouri, Kansas, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, or Arkansas, but how "local" is that, anyway? Yes, it's great to keep money in the vague general area of one's own community, but when "local products" are coal and tourism, then, what, precisely, are you going to buy for your table?

Farmers' Markets are the biggest joke I have ever seen. Our small rural agricultural community has two, one of which is even sponsored by the county government (in that, they get the space free and all that). Prices on tomatoes? Four times the price of the same vine ripened tomatoes from Arkansas. Prices on peaches? Six times the price of the same peaches from Nebraska. Sweetcorn? TEN times the price of the corn from Iowa. Why? Because it's labour-intensive to grow these things on a small basis. Now, when there are products available from the local Amish community -- YES, those are much cheaper and probably really ARE organically grown. But you know what? Our local Amish community sells in bulk to the small local supermarket (which out-sells Wal-Fart year after year) and therefore, here at least, supermarket prices are lower.

Farmers' Markets in other areas? Yeah good luck with that. You know, the getting up at 4am, getting the kids ready, driving (or worse for some -- riding multiple trans and/or buses) out to the market, only to find that you can't buy much at once because you have to cart it all home. Somehow. And keep track of your kids, too. Somehow. Total round trip cost for a friend of mine from Albany ? (Albany is the capital of New York State, btw)....

Transport (Mom, 2 kids) = $29 round trip. Transport Mom, 2 kids, to grocery store? $7. Wait, what? Farmers Market = more than 3x the price of the grocery store? Wow, better be some AWESOME bargains there. Oh. Hmm. Fresh green beans, $1 a pound, if you buy 5 or more pounds. Well, no freezer. No room in the small apartment FOR a freezer. No bargain. Cornfed beef, $4 a pound, if you buy a side or quarter. Oh, wow, okay so hang this in the shower and let it air-dry, and hope we eat it up before it rots? No bargain. You see where this is in fact going? I thought you would!

Grow a garden! Okay, yes. And if you can't grow a garden, try a tomato plant on your deck or front porch or apartment "balcony", if you have one. If you don't, then oh wait I know, buy a grow-light (full spectrum, usually flourescent bulb). You can't afford it? And can't afford the $5 a month to turn the grow-lamp on? Wow you suck! Yes, believe it or not, there are people out there who literally could not afford a $5 raise in their electric bill to grow a few tomatoes.

But if you CAN grow a garden, do so. You'll have to budget, starting in advance, for the pots and soil, or for the small amount of gas to run a tiller, or maybe even for the materials to build a raised bed. (Personally, I ditched the raised-bed crap. It cost too much to make, and wasn't economical, because we couldn't use "found" objects. Why spend money on blocks or boards or whatever? That's money you're taking out of the food budget.) If you have absolutely horrible soil, as we do, living where a brick factory was for decades, then you'll have to compost and enrich the soil. You can do that without too much work or cost, just by using your kitchen scraps, and by using dead leaves (but not grass clippings), and by using the stuff you shovel out of the chicken yard. (Yes, as a matter of fact, I do finally have my bantams!) You'll have to put this stuff in a pile somewhere near to the garden and rake or shovel it around every now and then, but it will, eventually, help.

But if you grow a garden, factor in a few things.
Will my family eat this veggie or am I growing it because I "should"?
How expensive is water, and can I "catch" or "save" water from rain? (You think this isn't a big deal? Go talk to some Aussie women.)
How much work is this going to be, and will I have time to plant, weed, pick, and process, or does the job I MUST have to at least pay the taxes and mortgage, leave me so damned tired that we're lucky my eyes are open?

Things like that also go into the "Cook for yourself!" That's great advice, and you don't have to be a cordon-bleu chef to feed your family. But if you're so worn out with the thigns that have to be done, let alone things you'd like to do, that you simply are too tired to cook, then you're going to end up shopping for the cheap, easy, pre-made food, slapping it in the micro, and tossing it on the table.

And then you're going to feel guilty as all hell because you did all that.

Stop it. Learn to cook a few fast easy meals, so you can CUT DOWN on the prepackaged stuff which, in spite of what the nice little websites would fantasise about, is sometimes cheaper than any collection of fresh cooked stuff even if you don't factor in time and shopping. Eventually you'll have a repertoire of things your family will eat, that you can cook, and that are good for them.

A lot of these articles say to fill up on beans, lentils, rice -- sure, go for it. Hope there's no one in your family who's diabetic, cause all that carb overload is gonna cost you anyway -- in the form of their insulin or oral anti-diabetic medication. You can, however, fill up on green beans, fresh or frozen (not canned). Serve less meat and use more tofu! Okay, sure. But only if no one in your family has ever had any risk factor for breast cancer, estrogen-responsive or not. Wait, you say you're female and have a pulse? Oh, you're screwed right there -- you are 100% likely to have some form of breast issue, because you're female, with a pulse. Forget the tofu. All the people who like to point at the far-eastern nations and claim how low their incidence of heart disease is? Yay for them. They didn't mention the horrendously high incidences of breast and reproductive cancer.

No. Instead, use as much salad (cheapie lettuce, baby carrots, radishes, celery, UN-pre-cut) as you can, and as many green frozen or freshies as you can, and limit a serving of meat to 6 ounces at the main meal of the day, and not more than 2 ounces at mid-meal or breakfast. Then add rice, taters, or beans. Stay away from breads and muffins; even if you bake your own they may not be cheaper, and they are big carb loads, of the WRONG carbs. Have oatmeal for breakfast, for instance, with fresh or dried fruit.

And don't get trapped into thinking whole wheat bread, or a "wrap" (fancy talk for tortilla) is better for you. It's not; the stuff is the same across the board -- wheat in some form, fat in some form, other additives in some form. That's why it's called bread or tortilla and not treebranches or something.

Biggest way to save? Plan your meals. ALL the meals, Breakfast, Snack, Midmeal, Snack, Evening meal, Snack -- for every day. If that's scary, plan for a week, and shop for a week. Plan the meals and write down EVERYTHING you need to prepare them from salt to meat to whatever spices. Remember that leftovers, or Leff Tovers or Re Cookifieds, can be used for snacks, or to add to another meal.

Then go through your kitchen and pantry and check off what you already have. What's left is that week's grocery list. Add the must-have toiletries (think these through, generics in THIS area are just as good as name brands, be it shampoo or toilet paper) and add in any pet food.

Shop where you ENJOY shopping or at least don't hate it. This may mean Wal-Fart, which I personally loathe for food purchases. (I won't buy food at our local Wal-Fart, after finding milk sitting for hours on the loading dock, and after finding meat in a freezer to be thawed and runny. But not everyone's Wal-Fart sucks.) It may mean a small market like Country Mart, which is a "chain" of five family owned grocery stores in Missouri. But you get the idea.

Bring it home, carry it in, cut up or repagage large buys of meat and vegetables, and make the kids put away the toiletries.

Next week, try making the menus for TWO weeks. And so on. Over time, you will find this saves you time and money. It's NOT a quick fix to an "oh god, do I pay the mortgage or buy food" situations. I truly and sincerely wish I DID have a quick fix for that, but I don't. Learning to budget, shop, and cook does take time.

And, while I truly believe one parent should stay at home while there are kids under 12 in the family, I know that's not possible for everyone. You will also have to learn to budget your time, and make kids help. It won't hurt them to learn that the world isn't a free ride. It won't hurt them to learn to make a bed, carry in a bag, or weed a row of beans. They may bitch, and at first it may take ten times as long as it would have taken you, but in the long run, it IS worth it, in terms of contribution to the family, building character, and believe it or not, self-esteem. Your kids will know they can contribute, and that they're worthwhile in part because of that.

This has been a long rant even for me! So in closing, I'll just add -- Whatever you read, here or on any other site, don't take it as carved in stone. READ it, think about it, consider whether or not it actually would work for your family. And, above all else, don't let anyone "guilt" you over how you run your house. No one else is sitting in your car, or sweeping your floor, or standing in front of your micro or range. YOU are. You know your family. And you know yourself.

Do your best, for your family and yourself, and to hell with the hype!

Birthday Time

2011-09-24T13:31:00.003-05:00

Things I've learned in 48 years, in absolutely no particular order ....

1) Breast cancer isn't always fatal, no matter how advanced it is and what stage it's in.

2) Children cannot wait, especially for a hug.

3) There really are pictures in the clouds.

4) Walls can come down. A big one did, in Berlin.

5) Vote. Even if you can't vote FOR someone or something, you can always vote AGAINST someone or something.

6) Teenagers need their space, but they also need your presence.

7) NASA is awesome but it doesn't know everything. Pathfinder proved that.

8) A computer full of recipes is no substitute for a printout, or even better, a card handwritten by your great-grandmother.

9) Sometimes "going green" isn't, in fact, any greener, and may actually harm the environment more. Flourescent lightbulb replacements with their dangerous mercury content and their seizure-producing side effects are an example of this.

10) There's a reason that "god" and "dog" contain the same letters.

11) Sometimes "good enough" really IS good enough.

12) Ask yourself who you are keeping house for -- Yourself? The neighbors? A fantasy interview with a home-arts magazine?

13) Bantam eggs are still the best.

14) There is no substitute, anywhere, for hot cocoa and a dog on your lap.

15) Smile. It may not do anything important, but it will make people wonder what you're up to.

16) Cry. You burp after you drink a Co'cola, don't you? Crying is the same thing, a tension-release.

17) You don't need a man. Or a woman. But if you have one, appreciate him.

18) Why are you saving the good china and the nice stemware? The most important guests you will every have are your family.

19) Holidays should never be stressful. Stop buying into the hype.

20) There is no substitute for the gift of love, freely given, even if it's only expressed quietly.

21) Grow something. Whether you live in a high-rise or on a farm, grow SOMETHING green.

22) Prioritise. Yes, the floor may need mopped. But playing with a child is more fun. The floor will be there tomorrow. The child may grow up over night.

23) If you ever find someone to be "irreplaceable", replace him or her immediately.

24) Neatness counts. Except with kids and dogs.

25) Fresh eggs SINK. Spoiled eggs FLOAT.

26) Have a plan. Then throw it out if it doesn't work.

27) Try. The worst that happens is that you fail, so you can start over.

28) The internet is a good friend but a poor master. Get your butt up off the chair and go outside.

29) Sudsy water or vinegar and water will clean things better than pricey cleansers.

30) Breakfast is a state of mind, not a sit-down meal. But don't skip it.

31) Daffydillies and roses always bloom. No matter how harsh the winter may have been.

32) Kids need time to -- BE KIDS.

33) Related to that, if your kid is in sports or any other club, remember, it's for the KID, not for you to compete with the other parents.

34) If you can dream it, you can become it, but you may have to work your ass off to make it happen.

35) Children never grow up. You will always need your father or mother, and your child will always need you.

36) Death is a doorway, and it isn't final. But you can still grieve and you will still miss people who are gone.

37) If it sticks and should not, WD40. If it does not stick and should, Duct Tape.

39) Adventurous sex is fun. Unplanned pregancy is not. Be careful.

40) If two sources of information give mutually exclusive results, go with your gut.

41) You can't fix stupid. You flat out can't.

42) Just once, go to the mountains. Just once, go to the ocean.

43) Good chocolate is usually worth it.

44) Look at the stars.

45) Good literature endures. Popular literature doesn't, but it can be fun while it lasts.

46) Pay yourself first. Even if you only clean out your pockets into a fruit jar every week, do it. Eventually, you'll have a little savings.

47) There really IS a sucker born every minute (even though P.T. Barnum never actually said this) Don't believe me? Watch TV for an hour.

48) Life is never too short, nor is it too long. It' s always just right. But what you DO with your life makes that difference.

Stuff and Things

2011-01-19T12:11:00.002-06:00

What is it about this time of year that gets under my skin so much? It's too cold or the ground's too hard to work outside on garden prep, chickenhouse building, or the (continuous, dammit) home repairs.... It's not really cold enough for me to want to pretend I'm a bear instead of a wolf and hibernate 23/7.... I half-want to clean, organise, declutter things... I half-want to say "Oh the hell with it, I can't keep ahead of the ravenous junque collecteurs I live with"... Part of me wants to yell and holler at the people who for SOME unknown reason cannot put an item back where they got it, even when they are standing 3.2 inches from its proper place....

And don't even talk to me about the animals.... Horrid little beasts! One of them has forgotten what a litterbox is for (Clone). One of them knows quite well what it's for -- kicking the litter and *ahem* stuff out of onto the floor, in a walkway (Lucky). Two of them hate the litterbox anyway, and would rather go outside and DIE than poop in a sanitary plastic tray full of environmentally sound corn-by-product (Nana and Visions). Snowy (Lyn's cockatiel) now screams for no reason -- not just because someone has bothered her -- just to scream. And the sugar gliders are itchy, so we have to run a NON ULTRASONIC humidifier which frankly is noisy as hell. We got a companion dog for Cat (the person) for Yuletide; he looks like what we called a "poi dog" when we lived in Hawaii. Buster's a great kid; he plays with Biddy. It's total comedy, particularly when you consider, Buster at age 3 probably weighs all of 9 pounds (hell, Lucky is heavier!) and then there's Biddy... at 89.2 pounds. So, Buster's on one end of a rope tug, dangling.... From Biddy, who has the other end of the tug in her mouth. They do other cute stuff but that's the bestest.

I mentioned Lucky, above, and it made me think about the whole crew really. Clone, the oldest, was the kitten of Mist, a barn cat given to me when we first moved back to the Ozarks. She's about 17 years old, possibly 19. I can't even remember now because she's been around so long. She's still able to eat, purr, and pee (anywhere but her box) even though it's evident that she's really old now. She can also still catch, and eat, mice. Her silver-grey fur has a slightly brownish tinge now; the vet says that's just age, which is also the reason that her sea-green eyes have faded to a more golden shade now.

Next oldest of the bunch is Snowy, the cockatiel. Small bird, not the huge screaming thing, big difference between a cockaTIEL and a cockatoo, which is what most people think I mean when I mention her. She's white with a yellow crest and pale orange cheek patches; like all her breed she's pretty fastidious about her grooming and her food. Now she's cranky, though, and instead of saying "Ryu" and "Whee!" she mostly communicates in a noise similar to fingernails on a blackboard. She's the last of 3 cage-birds we had; Artie Deco was the first, and Snowy was originally supposed to be his girlfriend, but that didn't really work out for him. There was also Skittles the Lovebird. Everyone says not to have a single lovebird, but that's baloney; Cat raised him from the time he wasn't even fully fledged, and believe me, he never needed a mate. Both Artie and Skittles are gone now; we were told that cockatiels generally live 10 to 12 years, and lovebirds live 10 to 15 years. Both birds far exceeded this projection, as has Snowy, who is still alive and screeching at 17.

So, Clone, then Snowy, then Nanashi. Now, if you know Japanese, you may realise that Nana's name is a pun. Nana was rescued from under the porch of a rundown house on the wrong side, of the wrong side of the tracks. When I hauled him out, he was smaller than your average coffeecup. Hells'Bells, the FLEAS on him, were almost as big AS him, I swear. I bathed him in a Motel Six sink the night I found him, and discovered he was even smaller than I thought. When he finally dried, he was a delicate ball of long ginger fluff. I'd seriously never seen anything so beautiful and so unimaginably soft to the touch. He forgave me for that bath finally... about 3 years ago. Nana is 15 years old, and he's still one of the most beautiful creatures I know. A lot of the time, Lyn refers to him as the Little Lion, and Nana-baby-kitty-kins. (Don't laugh. She's 25 years old; there is no way I'm going to be able to make her stop babytalking to that cat now.) Now for the pun... He's a little bastard, not really by temperment but by actual birth. In the old days a bastard was a "nameless one". Nanashi means -- no-name. Get it? hahaha?

Like most of our animals, Lyn taught Nanashi to drink from straws and eat from forks. Oh. Did I say taught? Well, not really. When Lyn was growing up, and when she'd come home in summers from university, she would sit at her desk, writing programs or drawing, or any of the other things Lyns do... and when she'd have a drink or snack, she'd share with whoever was nearby. I'd sit and watch sometimes, distracted from my own stuff, as Lyn would take a bite of noo-noos, then wind a noo-noo round a chopstick and offer it to Nana. Lyn would take a slurp of tea or soda (she always has loved straws and sippy cups, even as a "grown up"), and then offer the sippy-lid or straw to Nana. She also did this with other dogs and cats as they entered our lives. It was hilarious. Nana would sit on top of her monitor (this was before flatscreens) and Clone would sit on her lap -- or vice versa, but either way, they'd share. Nana also used to LOVE to lean over the top of the telly and watch the screen as Lyn played Sonic or any one of a few dozen other Sega games.

During this time we also had Ren and Milo and Lassie, all of whom are gone now.

Then came Biddy. Lassie had been gone for a few months, and Cat and Lyn decided they couldn't stand ME without a dog, so ... they got me one. My little Biddy black puppy.... You know, that dog now weighs more than Lyn. I think that's hilarious. But there's plenty about Biddy in other places, so on to ....

Visions. Visions the cat is a beautiful shorthaired, goldeneyed, black male. At the moment, he's been outdoors (yes, in below-freezing weather) for over 24 hours, because for some reason, he can't stand being in the house other than to eat. He and I have been arguing for the past month or so about whether or not he needs to be out in this weather. I've given up, frankly. I just hope he has brains enough (he does have) to crawl up into the torn bellywrap of the trailer and sit on the ductwork, and not freeze, and I'm just relieved when he mews imperiously at the door to be let in. If he didn't weigh as much as a small dog, I'd be more worried, I think. Like, crawling under the house or searching the woods, worried. I don't even like cats, really, and I like Visions, but the idiocy has to stop or I'll go nuts.

And then there is Lucky. Last August, Lucky wandered up onto the lanai, screaming. His throat had been torn out, then the wound had abcessed, and.... He was a mess. I've never seen an animal hurt that badly that survived. We brought him in and bathed him -- he was so ill, he LET us. Then I gave him warm chicken broth, every four hours, with vitamins mixed in. I was afraid to give him solid food -- you could count every bone in his body at that point. By the next evening, his fur was already softer and the horrendous wound under his chin and on his throat was granulating. By Monday when I was finally able to get him to the vet (David Edwards, DVM, of Osceola Missouri, is a saint. If there is a heaven, David should be at the highest level of it) Lucky was actually starting to look like a cat. David said he was astonished that he'd lived through the weekend. He cleaned Lucky's chin and throat, shot him full of antibiotics, gave me a liquid antibiotic to squirt down Lucky's throat twice daily... And said he was amazed not only that Lucky was alive at all, but that he'd found the house of the ONE crazy old lady who would take care of him. Yes, there are other houses on this road, though they're few and far between. And yes, I think I know quite well who abandoned this cat to the mercies of the forest. And yes, I am emphatically a "dog girl". But Lucky knew. He saw the lights, he heard and smelled us, and he knew -- he would be safe here.

A year later? wow. Amazing. He's a big, well-muscled, yelloweyed beauty. He's a shorthair, and he's black and white. He looks as if he's wearing a mickeymouse hat because the top of his head and his ears are black. His back is black -- except for a narrow white strip of fur. People keep telling me to get a Sharpie and colour it in, because he looks like a skunk. Hmph. I'm sure you can figure out, from his story, why he's called Lucky. And, although as I said above, I'm not really into cats, I admire the hell out of this cat. It took balls -- and luck -- for him to even be here.

Don't get me wrong, I find cats very valuable for vermin control round the house and farm. And I enjoy watching cats move or hunt, because they're so elegant even when they're... well... not being elegant. But I never really liked them as pets.

This pride, however, is changing my mind.

Winter Holiday Week!

2010-12-23T13:59:00.006-06:00

Wheee, it's Midwinter!

Whatever it is you celebrate this holiday as, we all know it's an awesome time of year. And one of the best things about this time of year is ... THE FOOD!

So without further ado, on to the food.

Roast Beast and Yorkshire Pudding, Green Beans, CranOrange Stuff, and Cranberry Bread
This is our traditional Solstice dinner. I'm pretty sure I've given the Cranberry Bread recipe somewhere in this blog, so I won't repeat it.

Roast Beast
You'll need 6 ounces uncooked weight of meat per person you're serving. A family of four, for instance, needs a roast that's about a pound and a half. Check your cookbook to find the proper internal temperature (and therefore the hours of cooking time) for your roast. Remember, POULTRY finishes at a much higher internal than beef, pork, lamb, or venison.

Take the thawed roast (or turkey or large baking hen) and rinse it well. Pat it dry.

Turn the oven on to the recommended temp for the type and size of beast you're cooking.

In a bowl mix salt, pepper, garlic powder OR crushed fresh garlic, diced onions, and possibly your fave "spice mix". In another bowl, soften 2 Tablespoons of butter, and then moosh it around with an equivalent amount of good olive oil. Now, rub this all over your meat. Then sprinkle on your spice mix.

The oven won't be ready yet, so get the pan you plan to roast this in, and a rack. If you haven't got a rack, then take some aluminium foil and make tight "snakes". Coil these in the bottom of the pan and you can put the beast on that. If you haven't got a lid or top for your pan, make a foil tent.

Stick the roast in the hot oven, insert a thermo if you have one (DO NOT rely on the "pop up" thermo in purchased turkeys. Really. Please dun't.) If not, get out your stick-in meat thermo and keep it handy by. When the specified amount of cooking time has elapsed, check the meat temp. If it doesn't match what the book says it should -- Leave the roast beast alone for another 15 minutes. You can repeat this process till the temp is right.

During the roasting time, you're going to make your CranOrange stuff and your Green Beans.

CranOrange Goo
For the CranOrange Stuff, take 1 cup of cranberries and chop or food-proccessorise them to a coarse grind. Scrub an orange, then zest the entire outside. Then peel off the weird white stuff, and squish up (but not "juice) the orange. Put the cranberries and the orange squish into a small pan and add 1 cup of water, and 1/4 cup of sugar. Turn the heat on low, and stir till your hands get tired. It will thicken and gel very slightly. When it has, turn the heat off, get a dish, and pour it into the dish. (I use a crystal bowl, cause I like lookin' at the Stuff). Put the dish UNCOVERED in the frige to chill and set. This will not taste like the strange stuff you get in a can. It's tonnes better!

Green Beans
Once the Stuff is made, toward the end of the beast-roasting, get out the green beans. If you bought them frozen, just run warm water on them to thaw, and don't tell anyone. If you froze them yourself, thaw them gently in slightly cooler water. If you just went out and picked them (Oh you lucky south-of-the-equator people), then wash them and snap the ends, but leave them long. Once they're thawed or washed, drain them. While they drain, cut up 2 slices of bacon into about finger-widths and fry them, then pour off MOST of the oil, and set the bacon aside. Fry the beans, very quickly -- you basically just want them hot all the way through, and want them to turn a beautiful bright green. Once they're cooked, sprinkle the drained bacon back on them, and cover to keep warm.

Gravy
Open the oven and check the roast beast. Pour off about a half cup of dripping (carefully). Heat this in a pan on the range top. While it heats, mix about 1/2 cup of flour, a pinch of salt, and about 2 cups of water together till smooth. Easiest way to do this? Why, in a jar with a lid! and shake it baby! When the drippings are bubbling, slowly pour in the flour-water mix, stirring like a madwoman the whole time. When the flour tastes "cooked", and not like flour anymore, turn the heat almost off, and use a "tamer" if you have one. Keep the gravy warm, and stir it once in a while to preclude lumpifying.

Yorkshire Pudding
Now, for the Yorkshire Pudding! In a bowl put 1 cup flour, 1 teaspoon of salt, and a PINCH, a bare pinch! of baking soda. Stir it up good. In a separate bowl, combine 3/4 cup milk, 1/2 cup water, and up to 3 eggs. Mix or beat or whisk this until it's a pretty sunny yellow colour. Now, stir it into your dry ingredients, just until everything is moistened -- do not over mix this, seriously. It's okay that there are little bumpy floury bits. Really. Trust me.

By now the beast should be done. It will need to sit for about 15 minutes before you carve it, or all the juices will ooze out and frankly, who wants a non-juicy roast beast? Take the beast out and set it aside. Turn up the oven to 400 degrees, and put an iron skillet on the middle shelf. If you haven't an iron skillet, you can use a pie pan or a heavy baking pan -- DO NOT use glass. After about 5 minutes, very carefully take the skillet out of the oven -- it's going to be hot! -- and remember the bacon fat you poured off earlier? Pour that carefully into the skillet, and be sure it covers the whole bottom. If it doesn't, it's perfectly fine to add a tiny bit of vegetable oil. Now, pour the Yorkshire Pudding into the very hot pan, and put it back into the oven for a good 15 minutes at 400 degrees. While it cooks, you chase the cats off the table, get out the china, and yell at people to start washing their hands, and carve the roast beast. (If you're doing a turkey, and you have the whole "carve at the table" tradition -- then just make the preliminary cuts at wing and drumstick.) Check the green beans; if they're not hot, zap them in the micro for a few seconds (about 30 for most micros). Put the gravy in a bowl or boat.

The Yorkshire Pudding should be done by now, the beans should be hot, and the Stuff should be cold. VERY CAREFULLY get that skillet full of Yorkshire Pudding out, and slide the pudding onto a plate (yes, I know. In some families, they put the skillet on the table. I do too, when there aren't small people running about) and cut it as you would a pie.

Make sure you've got out whatever wine you're using, or bubbly juice if your family doesn't do booze. Get everyone to the table, and serve -- Beast first, then Yorkshire Pudding, then Green Beans, then CranOrange Stuff, then pass the gravy round the table. Once everyone is served, say whatever grace or blessing you feel is appropriate, then pour out the wine or bubbly juice and start the toasting! But don't let the toasting interfere with the eating. At our house we generally toast the President of the US, the Queen, and each other.

Have a very happy holiday, and enjoy your meal!

Or... Maybe I'm not

2010-12-19T12:33:00.005-06:00

To tell the truth, part of the reason I'm "not back" has to do with blog formats themselves. Granted, unless you're willing to pay for stuff, you have to use the features available on a freebie. But honestly, I get tired of not being able to organise things the way I want them done... Get tired of having to link to my real website (and code the pages) and so forth. It isn't that I'm lazy. (I mean, I am lazy, but that isn't why) It's that I have way too many other things to do.

But -- that begs the question of "omfg this blog is a mess, I saw a recipe or how-to or explanation once and now I can't freakin find it!"

I hate that. I'm sure other people have the same issue.

However, onward and upward as the worm said before it knew the early bird was waiting for it.

One of the reasons I've been busy is of course the winter holidays. These are a big deal for our family, be it Samheine/Halloween, North American Thanksgivings (Canada and the US), or the whole midwinter thing. One reason is EverQuest; I lead a raiding guild -- enough said, eh? Another reason though, is my perpetual frustration over "how to" stuff and "save money" stuff.

Save money? Really? By going out to your local I-krapa store and SPENDING money? How to? Really? How-to hack something you spent a fortune on? (See previous sentence.) There simply HAS to be a happy medium between "Oh good lord that looks trailer trash crap" and "Yes, dahling, Lloydz of Lundun insures this for 1meelion". There has to be.

See, the thing is, I live in a cave in the woods... Well no, not really. I live in 2 trailers, in the woods. Why? Because we could afford the original trailer, it got us out of a return to my parents' household quickly, and because (silly me) I thought trailers were fairly well constructed. After all, my grandparents lived in a trailer for 50 years and it stood up to kids, grandkids, and whee, great grandkids.

Dumdum... hah.... no, trailers are no longer well constructed. They are put together with the cheapest (NOT most inexpensive, CHEAPEST) materials available, and then dressed up to look good. And a further little word of caution -- just like "model homes" or "model units" -- yeah, the trailer you get delivered is not nearly as nice as the one you looked at before you ordered, got the loan, and spent the money.

However, we didn't find that out at first. We were pleased enough with the (apparent) durability of the trailer we could afford that, when we went into electronics reviewing, we purchased another trailer. Unfortunately for us, my little war with breast cancer put an end to our retirement career of reviewing, and as a lovely little side issue, it also meant that the trailers, and the lanai that was supposed to have been my office, connecting the trailers, began to fall apart, since no one else (young daughter, handicapped housemate) was capable of maintaining the trailers -- or even knew they needed to be maintained. And as for the lanai -- it leaked from day one and is now, basically, a pile of rotten lumber.

Then the floors in both trailers started to rot out.... wtf? Oh, well it seems the subflooring is MDF board -- "construction grade" my arse.... if it gets wet, for any reason -- open window, dog puddle, burst pipe -- then it falls apart, and you guessed it, people step through the carpet and fall under the house. Yeah. Serious.

Then the plumbing goes bonkers... yeah well THAT I fixed. After spending 1500$ to pay a plumber who broke a sink and a toilet and complained that he'd never heard of/worked on a drain and septic tank where there was a Y connector. Scuse me? Don't get out much, do you, because in housing divisions, MOST of the drains are Y connects. Why? Oh, because you know, a T connect would let my sewage back up into YOUR house, or yours into our other neighbor's, or theirs into ours... Yeah, the Y thing from the house to the sewer or septic tank is actually NORMAL. So after he breaks my stuff (and you know, the kitchen sink still doesn't drain right) I made the company replace my toilet (big mistake, the one they provided uses 4x the water my old funny looking one did, but eh) and still doesn't get my plumbing draining, and still can't figure out why the washer drain won't... well... drain.... I fixed the stuff myself. It was easy. I just checked which things were not draining, and then went in under them (and yes, under the house) and cut them open, reamed them out, and then replaced the fittings. Not including my time, it cost $100 in pieces of pvc and sealers and pipe goo. And while I was at it, I "grey watered" my washer drain. Let's face it, the rinse water is perfectly okay for watering non-food plants. Why waste it when the water bill is upward of thirty bucks a month?

Sooo everything's cool, except yeah the lanai is still falling down, but yeah let's save up and get that fixed.... then the floors in the 2nd trailer, which is no longer an "office" but a living space, those floors give out. To the tune of $700. Plus weird water damage to a wall thanks to a stray weird storm. But at least this handyman (Randy and his assistant Lee) are DA BOMB. These guys do damn fine work, they do not ever put me off, their estimates are usually within $50 of exactly what they said it would cost. They fixed the floor and walls where a dog we (mistakenly) thought would fill the niche that Milo and Ren did, had tried desperately to get out of the house one night. So I knew Randy and Lee would do good on the floor and the wall, and they did.

But between that and paying off credit cards that covered medical expenses for Cat and Lynk and me that weren't otherwise covered.... yeah, no spare cash.

Then we find out the blackpipe, the propane lines under the original trailer, have rotted/rusted out. Well, I'd said for MONTHS I could smell propane. No one else could. Finally one Thursday it was so bad, the trashman pounded on my door to wake me up because he could smell it -- COMING DOWN THE GRAVEL ROAD!

Yeah. I don't even wanna THINK about that expense. But again, there we are, behind again! Bills are paid, groceries are bought -- and that's all there is, no spare cash for anything else, not even a stick of gum, ffs.

One thing after another... we think we're back on an even keel again and -- blam -- the electrical system in the 2nd trailer goes weird. Now, this bugs me for a couple of reasons -- one, electrical fires suck, and electrical fires in trailers are deadly... and two, the computers are in this trailer. So now I'm saving up to get this fixed. And crossing every finger I have, that nothing bad will happen before I do.

Then, after almost 20 years of "yeah we'll get it there next month!" CenturyTel (Now CenturyLink) finally gets DSL here. Now, for a little over 3 years, I've been using an air card, from AllTel Wireless -- which suddenly gets bought out by VerySucky, I mean ver - izon -- you know, the company that's been in the news lately for cheating its customers? Yeah them. So when they buy AllTel I call to BE SURE there's not going to be any BS with my contract and that it will, as planned, roll over to month-to-month, no contract, no crap. Yes of course! they assure me.

Liars. I called to cancel it and they suddenly claim I bought new equipment the prior month. Wrong, I still have my original AllTel card (it's a gadget about the size of a thumb drive, if you don't know). No, you bought new equipment and signed up for a longer contract. NO I DID NOT, and it no longer gets a signal anyway because you jerks refuse to use existing towers, refuse to rent or lease other towers, and YOUR tower is over 30 miles away -- so I get, oh yeah NO SIGNAL. Turn it off. Okay we'll do that and you'll get a bill for the $420 you owe. The hell I will -- you waive that because first of all you're a bunch of lying thieves, second because you're a bunch of theiving liars, and third, because I don't get a signal so I CANNOT USE THE DEVICE! Oh but you show as using over 5g of activity this month... Really? Wow, considering the card is unplugged and packed in its original box. You mean the card works even when it's not in use? Nice try, liar.

I finally did get the charge waived and the service off. I won't say CenturyLink's DSL is any great improvement (I actually see very little difference in speed or quality) but yeah, at least they don't lie about what services you have, I know the local techs personally (Lynk went to school with some of them) and it doesn't randomly shut down. But I was ready to go back to dial-up, rather than put up with VerLIEzon any more.

So... we're still not even up to right now!

This past couple years have been rainy mild summers AND winters. Hey that's neato, you say... yeah, except for one small problem -- the japanese honeysuckle that has invaded large parts of the Mizzourah Ozarks. This stuff can, in one year, destroy a tree with a trunk as big around as a dinner plate. You can keep ahead of it if you try a bit, but all the being sick, then surgeries, then more sick, more surgeries, and then finally the mild years.... wow. Surprised I still have a house. So we go out and start cutting it back, and yay, that's working great. Finally, SOMETHING I can conquer, ya know?

The garden? yeah not so much. The whole "raised bed" thing just flat doesn't work for us. I dunno why, maybe I dun do it right. But it's far too expensive, for one thing, because I don't have "found objects" I can use to build up the beds, and so forth. So, with the help of a friend, her chainsaw, and her brush-hawg, we cleared an area that we *hope* we can make into a garden this coming year. We'll probably have to tarp it, and till it over several times, and I may have to at least grow my tomatoes on the deck (yet again) but this should eventually work out. Always provided I get the tiller fixed, yo. And my own chainsaw. If I can find it. It's around somewhere.

We also started to work on the chicken yard. That was when I remembered all the sandstone that underlies the forest mast.... We have to date broken two shovels. I'm going to buy a real one, and a pickaxe. The trouble with all this sandstone is, the rocks are "just big enough" to mess with your head -- you can't find the edge because actually, you've found a nest of little rocks... you can't pry them out because.... so yeah. Saving up for a pickaxe and (another) shovel.

At least I have old leftover fence I can use to make the actual pen. I'll have to buy a shed kit, though, because bantams can't survive a Mizzourah winter without some shelter from the cold. Just because the last 2 years were mild, doesn't mean the next two years will be -- I remember this cycle from my childhood. One year of cold, a couple years of holy god hell froze over, a couple years of Wow, let's go get in the pool on Solstice Morning, three years of mixed, rinse-repeat. But so far, this at least is looking like one more thing I can conquer. For now. Maybe.

And so, finally, are the bills -- I've got a payment plan worked out to where I should have them all done with, in the next 30 months. What messed with me so far was the fact that every time I paid OFF a bill -- mortgage, car payment, house payment -- then the following month, prices on everything from gas to groceries, went up MORE THAN the amount I was now "getting back". Like freaking clockwork, I am not kidding. Then add to that the fact that CONGR-ASS voted themselves raises but screwed the veterans who spent our working years defending their right to be elected to positions of corruption -- yeah they didn't give VA or disability pensions any raise. So while the cost of living skyrockets, those of us who faithfully served our country were cheated. And when the current president tried to enforce the laws that say You can't have a raise unless you give vets one too, he got shot down. Go, go "re-fuck-licans". I hope someday every one of YOU faces the challenges that normal ordinary poor folks face.

Gee. Angsty much? Yeah, I spose I am. It's been a bad couple of years. However.... Things change! They always do!

So, with luck, this h'yere blog will change as well, to something fun, usable by those who click it, and informative for those who read it.

Whee! Happy Holidays, and may you enjoy yours as much as I am going to enjoy mine!

Yes, I'm Back

2010-10-02T20:40:00.006-05:00

Isn't it annoying when a blog just suddenly... STOPS? And now I ended up doing it myself. This last year has not been one of my best, most productive, or otherwise remarkable. I won't go into why, but I think -- I hope! -- that I'm back.

One of the things I've tried to do over the past year is to get the blog to work; for a while it refused to do so. I don't actually like this host in the first place, but that's mainly because I don't like the typical mish-mash blog site formats to begin with. I like recipes in one place, sewing tutorials in another, organising in another, and so on. It irritates me to have to search through someone's "tags" or "blog archives" to find a series of things, and it irritates me no end that my own blog falls into that sort of mess. But it's even more irritating to update an actual website (and yes, I have two) on a daily or weekly basis. So... I'll be doing something about that, though I don't yet know what.

Onward and forward! and all that inspirational stuff.

Holidays!

2009-11-13T12:02:00.003-06:00

Wow, it's been a while since I was able to post. We've had a few interesting things go wrong here at the farm, and I had some more reconstructive surgery.

But I'm still in the holiday mood! Oh wow!

One of the forums I read had a question about sending holiday cards. So I thought I'd share my take on that, since for me, this is a wonderful part of the season.

I only send about a dozen cards each year to surviving parents, siblings, and very special friends. But the dozen that I send are special!

I keep my eyes open all the time for Yule cards -- and they may not be exactly "Christmas" or "Yule" cards; one year I found a box of gorgeous blank cards with a painting of a cardinal in the snow on them. (To me, cardinals and snow symbolise this season better than any other image!) One year I found some with Pooh and Eeyore and Piglet and Tigger on them, and so on. And, I don't necessarily find 12 of the *same* card. I just find a dozen cards I like.

On the afternoon of 25th of November, every year, I get out Enya's Oiche Chiun album (that's Silent Night, for non-Gaelic speakers) sit down with a slice of cranberry bread, a cup of coffee, and the cards. I sit down on the couch in the living room, so that I can look out the windows at the woods or the yard depending on whether I look out the south side or the north side.

Sometimes during the year I will have taken a cute, funny, or sweet photo of the animals or a pretty one of the farm or woods, so I print out a dozen small full colour copies. I also make sure to have bought a dozen really lovely Yuletide stamps. I have a dozen "gold foil" monogram seals, too, and my favourite pen.

I write a little note inside each card. I let the music and the view and the snack tell me what to write for each family, if that makes sense. Then I sign each card and tuck it into the envelope with a photo.

When all the cards are done and in the envelopes, by then the Oiche Chiun is over. So I clean a very old vinyl record of "various artists" including the Beach Boys when they *were* boys, Elvis, Bing Crosby, and so on, singing Yule and Christmas music, refill the coffee cup, and address all the envelopes, then stick the flaps down. I put a fancy gold initial seal on each envelope flap, and then the pretty stamp on the front.

By now, the old record is finished, so I put it away again. I rinse out the coffee cup, let the dog lick the cranberry bread plate, and then put on my boots and coat and mittens, and the dog and I walk the mile to the mailbox. Sometimes it's cold and clear, sometimes it's cold and windy, sometimes it's snowing or raining.

As we walk, I sing a very old Yule song called "The Holly".("Oh, the Holly she bears a berry, as white as milk. And the Mother she bore the Son, all wrapped up in silk"... there is also a Christian version of this carol, I think.)

We post the cards, the dog and I, and then we walk back to the house, still singing. By now the sun is setting, and the trees make black lace against the dim grey of the sky. Beside the branches of oak and maple and elm, are the dusky-green brushes of cedar, like embroidery between the lace. All around is the scent of winter, the cold, the odour of woodsmoke, the smell of the cedars, and often, the scent of "wet dog".

And then we're back home, in the light and laughter of the house, and it's nearly suppertime!

I make this into my own special part of the holiday thing. Because the family is fairly spread out, we generally don't exchange gifts. That's why the cards are so very special. Because the cards are special, I make the whole process of sending them special too. This is one holiday thing that I do alone, and if I am not in the holiday spirit because of illness or worries or whatever, then by the time I am done with the cards, and the cranberry bread, and the coffee, and the music, and the walk to the mailbox -- well, by then, I *am* in the spirit and have my equilibrium back.

Roofs aren't the only thing that leak!

2009-10-29T14:01:00.003-05:00

Wow, what's that saying? It never rains, but it pours? It's surely pouring here.

Just when we thought we were ahead of the game financially, or at least caught up! things started going haywire here. We've had to replace the range, the freezer, half the plumbing... and now suddenly the propane lines all leak! Good grief, enough already!

Today the yard looks as if it's been attacked by gophers.... The men from the gas company had to dig up everything and start over. Then, after they fixed the lines and the tank, they discovered there are leaks in the actual house lines now, so I've had to call in a heating and cooling specialist too.

Needless to say, no way to cook today, or bake, or do any of the other things I needed to get done, and needless to say, my budget just died a horrible death.

Ah well. It could be worse, so I spose I'll just smile and keep my chin up and play with the dogs!

Pumpkins!

2009-10-21T12:13:00.021-05:00

It's pumpkin time! Finally!

Pumpkins rock. They're my favourite veggie, no joke. I like 'em even better than carrots or radishes for eating, or as the kids say for "nomming". (I'm told that comes from the programme Sesame Street -- it was the noise the Cookie Monster made as he ate.)

What pumpkin should you choose?

Well, what are you going to do with it?

It doesn't matter what variety the pumpkin is, nor what colour. What matters is the size. A bigger pumpkin will have less flavour to it, and may be tougher.

How you deal with the pumpkin depends on what you're doing with the pumpkin. For instance, most of the pumpkins people in the US buy are carved for jack-o-lanterns. The white pumpkins were developed to mimic the turnip and tater lanterns carved by people like my grandmothers years ago. The other varieties were hybridised to meet decorating needs, not eating needs. Go figure, huh?

What pumpkins aren't sold for decorating are processed into canned pumpkin, pre-made pumpkin pie "filling", commercially prepared pumpkin pies, and pumpkin seeds.
But guess what, you can do that stuff yourself!

If you are planning to carve the pumpkin for decoration, and are going to use the meat as animal food or compost, then it doesn't matter what size you get. Pumpkin skin, like any squash, is fairly tough. You may find it easier to use small saws, punches, and drills to do your pumpkin, instead of kitchen implements. If you want the pumpkin for eating, then buy pumpkins no bigger than your own head.

When you get your pumpkins home, hose them off outdoors. Let them dry a while. Then decide what you plan to do.

If you will be using the punkin for decorating, then you will probably cut off the BOTTOM. If you are using it as a bowl, you will probably cut off the TOP, leaving the stem intact if you can. If you are just going to use the pumpkin for eating, you will want to cut the pumpkin in half, watermelon-style.

Do this carefully. Pumpkin skin is VERY tough.

Once you have the punkin "open", then you need to get out all the seeds. Pull them out, sqoosh off any pumpkin "string", and put them in a pan of water. We'll get to them later.

Carefully, using a sturdy big spoon -- NOT a knife, and not some silly "pumpkin scraper" from a kit, scoop out the pumpkin guts.

*If you are not going to use the pumpkin, but only the insides, then you would cut the pumpkin into slices, again melon-style, and with a sharp knife, going slowly, you would peel the pumpkin.

Next, rinse off the guts. Make sure you have gotten all the seeds out, and gotten out any of the "slimy" bits. Slimy bits aren't bad or rotten, they're just the parts where the seeds were attached.
Put the guts into a pan and barely cover with water. Turn on the heat to the absolute lowest setting, and leave it alone for a while. You will want to check it every now and then, to be sure there's still water in there. Eventually, the guts will change to a deep rich golden orange (about an hour or two, depending on how much you've got.) At that point, turn off the heat.

Meantime, you have your hollowed out punkin now!

If you're using it as a serving bowl, then go around the inside again and scrape carefully. Remember to leave the BOTTOM fairly thick and unscraped. Slide the pumpkin onto a baking pan; later, half an hour before serving, you'll put it into a 300 degree oven and bake it for 20 minutes to soften it -- but be careful, you don't want it so soft that it won't hold the soup you're ladling into it!

If you're using it as a jack-o-lantern, then go over the inside again, scraping very carefully. You want the pumpkin to be fairly thin, because this makes it much easier to carve your designs.
Once you're finished with the inside, rinse the punkin and dry it again.

Set it on a sturdy work surface, and with a marker, trace your design. Or, take a printed design and lay it on your punkin, taping it in place. With a toothpick or a large sewing needle (like a darning needle) go over the design, punching in carefully -- like making a "connect the dots" in reverse. Take the pattern off, and very lightly dust over the punkin with flour. This will make the dots stand out so you can see them.

Now, using a sharp knife, small saw, punch, and heck I've seen people use their craft drills like Dremel tools -- now cut out your design. Be very careful, and supervise small children. Please!

It's traditional to use candles stuck into a pool of their own melted wax to light your lantern. But I find it more practical to use votive candles in glass holders, or little tiny lights sold for this purpose. I mean, come on, look at the size of my dog, and calculate the average windspeed of her tail wag.... Little lights are safer than candles sometimes!

Punkin Seeds
Now... remember your punkin seeds? Clean 'em good, get all the slimies off them, and rinse them. Bring about 2 cups of water to a boil, stir in about 4 tablespoons of kosher salt and maybe a sprinkle of seasoning salt. Put the seeds in that. Leave them alone for 2 hours. After two hours, pour the water off, spread the seeds on a baking sheet, and roast in a very slow oven for four hours.
OR
After you pour off the water, heat a heavy pan on the range, pour in about two tablespoons of your favourite oil -- barely enough to cover the bottom of the pan -- and drop in your seeds. Stir! Stir, stir, stir! When the seeds begin to sort of "puff" and "pop", you are done. Turn off the heat, cool the seeds, and seal them up in a jar or bag for snacks.

Note -- if you are doing this to make birdseed or small animal seed, don't use the seasoning salt, and cut the kosher salt back to two TEASPOONS.

Preserving Punkin
After you cooked up all your punkin (see above) and cooled it, you'll need to strain it. If you have a fine seive or colandar, use that. If yours isn't so fine, just lay a piece of muslin, or cheesecloth, in the bottom of the colandar and drain that way. Save what you drain to water the houseplants with. It makes them happy.

Once your punkin is drained, you can have some fun, mooshing it up with your hands. Or you can use your blender or food processor. Hands is more funs, as my Nana used to say.

Once it's drained, can it as you would jam or jelly. Or, you can put it into zip-top bags to freeze.
But what are you going to "do" with your punkin? Well....

Pumpkin Soup

Pumpkin Bread

Pumpkin Cookies

More rain??

2009-10-17T12:32:00.004-05:00

For goodness sake.... I'm starting to feel as if I live in a rain forest or something!

But at least today it's just cloudy... no rain *yet*.

I've been playing with a worm farm a little, and doing indoor chores like washing and rehanging curtains and stuff, and getting my gear ready for deer hunting in November.

I must say, I'm sort of half-looking forward to that, and half-not. I mean, I love the taste of venison, but oh my, we'll have to butcher and pack the meat. I love the cool crisp smell of November in Missouri, but oh my, I'll have to be out there awfully early in the cold! I want to make Cat and Lynk some mittens out of the deer hide, but oh, my, I'll have to tan and work the hide first...

Talk about ambivalence! But... In the end, it'll be worth it and it'll be nice to look at packages of jerky in the pantry, and packs of yummy steaks and ribs and roasts in the freezer.

Now if the deer will just co-operate. You know, some years I am totally convinced that Mizzourah Whitetail Deer have digital calendar watches. They know the exact date that firearms season starts, and they know to the second what shooting hours are. I sometimes think they synchronise their watches so that from opening day onward, they can be sure to hide for the duration of the season!

I bet they sit around playing cards in the caves or the deep woods, and laughing about hunters. You know, sort of like that cliche' black velvet painting of the dogs playing poker?

But I am determined to outsmart them again this year and if not bring home the bacon, at least bring home the venison!

More rain and more and more....

2009-10-15T10:54:00.004-05:00

I like rain as much as the next girl, but I'm beginning to feel like the old lady from Scotland:

Tourist: How long has it been raining here anyway?!

Old Lady: Weeel, this week 'tas only rained since Sunda. An' last week 't only rained from Sunda to Saturda.

I know how she felt! That's about how long it's been raining here. I haven't been able to work on getting my garden beds ready for next spring, and I haven't been able to start putting together my banty coop yet, partly because I'm too scared to run the saw when the ground is wet, and let's face it, I can't exactly cut parts in the kitchen, can I?

So I've been doing other things.

When I posted the story of Jack o' Lantern, my family reminded me there are a bunch of traditional things that people never do or teach their kids anymore. That includes the little songs and fingerplays that I taught all of them as they grew, and that they now teach their kids or the kids they babysit.

What happened to all the magic that used to permeate childhood? What happened to fairies and dragons and magical coins and little creatures who hid in the sand and granted wishes? What happened to little old women who swallowed flies or spiders who climbed water spouts?

The emphasis lately seems to be on killing things or blowing up things or otherwise destroying things. But it wasn't always that way, and it doesn't have to be. I wouldn't presume to go into the psycho-social implications of today's images on today's children, but I will say this: Gentleness, laughter, and love, are never out of place or out of fashion.

Some people may blame the loss of these old-fashioned images on the advent of television and computers and video games, but that's nonsense... we have all those things at our house, and we never forgot the magical things of childhood. Perhaps these things may bring back some of the wonder of your own young times. Perhaps you can use these things to amuse younger brothers and sisters or the children you babysit for. And perhaps if you have children of your own, you will pass these little things along to them, so that the magic and the wonder will not be forgotten.

Here are words and titles, and if you don't know the play that goes with some of them, you can always look them up online and chances are, you'll find a video for them to teach you, so you can teach others.

The Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly
There was an old woman who swallowed a fly – but I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she'll die!
There was an old woman who swallowed a spider – it wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.... but I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she'll die!
There was an old woman who swallowed a bird – Absurd! She swallowed a bird!
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.... but I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she'll die!
There was an old woman who swallowed a cat – Think of that! She swallowed a cat!
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.... but I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she'll die!
There was an old woman who swallowed a dog – What a hog! She swallowed a dog!
She swallowed the dog to catch the cat,
She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,
She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside her.
She swallowed the spider to catch the fly.... but I don't know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she'll die!
There was an old woman who swallowed a horse... She's dead, of course!

~~~~~

The House That Jack Built
This is the house that Jack built.
This is the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the maiden all forlorn who milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the man all tattered and torn who kissed the maiden all forlorn who milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the priest all shaven and shorn who married the man all tattered and torn who kissed the maiden all forlorn who milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the cock that crowed in the morn that waked the priest all shaven and shorn who married the man all tattered and torn who kissed the maiden all forlorn who milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
This is the farmer who grew the corn that fed the cock that crowed in the morn that waked the priest all shaven and shorn who married the man all tattered and torn who kissed the maiden all forlorn who milked the cow with the crumpled horn that tossed the dog that worried the cat that chased the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built.
And this.... Is Jack!

~~~~

Soldier, Soldier, Will You Marry Me?
Verse One:
Oh, Soldier, Soldier, will you marry me, with your musket, fife and drum?
Oh, no, fair maid, I cannot marry you, for I have no shirt to put on.
So up she ran to her grandfather's chest
And found him a shirt of the very best.
She found him a shirt of the very, very best
And the soldier put it on.
Verse Two:
Oh, Soldier, Soldier, will you marry me, with your musket, fife, and drum?
Oh, no, fair maid, I cannot marry you, for I have no pants to put on.
(Continue as above)
Verse Three: The soldier needs stockings
Verse Four: The soldier needs boots
Verse Five: The soldier needs a tie
Verse Six: The soldier needs gloves
Verse Seven: The soldier needs a hat
Verse Eight:
Oh, Soldier, Soldier, will you marry me, with your musket, fife and drum?
Oh, no, fair maid, I cannot marry you –
For I have a wife at home!

Here is a second version of the Soldier Song:
Oh, Soldier, Soldier, will you marry me now, with a hey, with a ho, with the sound of the drum?
Oh, no, fair maid, I canna marry you, because I have no pants to put on!
So she ran to the shops as quick as she could run, with a hey, with a ho, with the sound of the drum.
She bought him a shirt of the very, very best – "Now here, my small man, put this on!"
The song continues the same way; this is just another version that I learned from my granny.

~~~

Skinna Marinki Dinki Dink
Skinna marinki dinki dink, Skinna marinki doo (pretend to strum a banjo)
I love you, I love you (hug yourself)
I love you in the morning (Make a big sun-shape above your head)
And in the afternoon (make a round shape in front of you)
I love you in the evening (make the shape at tummy-level)
And underneath the moon! (Swing the round shape up over your head)
Ooooh, skinna marinki dinki dink, Skinna marinki doo!
I love YOU, I DO!

Something in My Pocket
I've got something in my pocket (reach into a pocket)
It belongs across my face (pull one finger across your cheeks)
I keep it very close at hand (pat the pocket)
In a most convenient place.
I'm sure you couldn't guess it (shake your head)
If you guess a long, long while (reach to your pocket again)
So I'll take it out (take "something" out of your pocket)
And I'll put it on (make a smiley shape over your own face)
It's a great big happy smile!

~~~

I hope these give you ideas for things to do with your younglings.

Goodbye, Milo

2009-10-12T12:33:00.002-05:00

I haven't a lot to say today, nor am I really in the mood to say anything at all. Milo, our Basenji, went to the vet for the last time today. He was a good dog, and lived a good long life, and he will be missed.

Autumn's chill

2009-10-10T10:47:00.005-05:00

Well, after the rain passed, it sure got cold. Really cold, like "see your breath" cold. And everywhere today there's the smell of woodsmoke.

I love that smell. It brings back memories, and it makes me think of long evenings with the family reading aloud or singing and making music together. It makes me think of punkins and jack o'lanterns and roasting turkey or venison and the dance at the high school gym for Harvest Home.

I'm sure most people know that the squashes -- of which the pumpkin is one -- are new-world plants. That is, they came from the Americas, from the Western Hemisphere. But did you know that there were jack o'lanterns long before Columbus (or even Leif Ericsson, or anyone else) "discovered" the new world?

It's true! Back before we were all "civilised", the fall festival symbolised the true "end of the year". Our ancestors watched the sky and the seasons to determine when to plant, when to harvest, when to gather stores for winter, and so on. They didn't have our sophisticated scientific equipment, and they didn't have the laws of physics set down in a text book somewhere, but they knew what they were doing. Toward the end of the moon-cycle that we now call October, the ancient people observed, and worked with, the changes in weather and the world.

Later, people began living in tribes and communities. We know about the long-barrow houses in the British Isles, and we know about the mead-hall communities of the Norse countries, and so on. And of course, any time people interact, they begin to ask themselves questions about the world around them and so on. These early people developed what we now call a "mythology" but is in fact a religion. The wanted explanations of why things happened, how they happened, and that sort of thing, so they looked for answers. Maybe we'd look at their questions and answers now and laugh, but then 10,000 years from now, maybe someone will look at us and laugh too!

Somewhere along the line, the final harvest for the locations north of the equator became associated with the death of the earth for the year, and then with the deaths of family and friends. Eventually, through time and intermingling, that final harvest became what we know as Halloween or Samhaine, and it's still celebrated by many people all over the world. Some people celebrate it as the night of all souls, or all saints, and some people celebrate it as a fire-festival. But regardless of the religious teaching behind it, the holiday has some very old traditions associated with it, which make it both holy and fun!

One of those traditions is the jack o'lantern, and one of the stories that goes with that, is this one. There are a LOT of stories about jack o'lanterns, and some of them mix a "devil" or other figures from non-pagan religions in with the stories. Almost every person will have a version of the story, and some of those versions are not fit for little kids because they're dark and scary and attempt to teach through fear instead of through love. But this is the story my great-grandmother told us:

A very long time ago when the world was younger and so were we, the Sidhe, that the English call the Faeries, decided to leave this land for the Other. But from time to time they visited here because they had kin and friends and clan here, and they loved them, so they came on the quarter days and cross days to make feast and tell stories and harp together.

But the Sidhe didn't want just any stranger walking into their feasting and singing, so they often gathered and gathered their friends, in the hidden places and it's said they would take revenge in a playful way on those who sought to disturb them.

Now about this time there lived a lad named Jock. Jock was the fairest lad you ever saw, he was tall and he was strong, and he had hair like an otter's pelt, and eyes like the leaves on the oak. But Jock had a fault. He was lazy, and would spend all manner of time avoiding work, if he could. Not for him ploughing and planting! Not for him harvest and thresh! Not for him anything but fun and the peaty taste of the whisky he brewed away up in the hills, and the dancing and the singing and the fun.

Jock's mother sighed and put her back into her work alone, and if any asked, she would always say, "Let the lad have his fun, soon enough he'll be an old one."

One year as evening fell on Samhaine, Jock decided he'd find a party of the Sidhe. After all, they were known for their dancing and singing and drinking and fun, so what better people to join for the night's feasting than they? But the moon was dark that night, and there were no stars to see, so Jock took a turnip and hollowed it out and hung it on a string, then put his candle inside it to protect it from the cold, cold wind of the night at year's end. Then he kissed his mother where she sat worn out from the week's work by her peat fire, and slammed the door as he went out into the night.

"Ah, me," his mother sighed. "Tis a shame and no mistake that my fine lad canna think of aught but his fun. He needs a lesson and that's sure!"

... And someone heard her!

Jock went out into the woods to an oak he knew, thinking surely, the Sidhe would hold their party there. Sure enough, as he approached, he heard singing and harping and laughter, but just as he got close enough to see the flash of jewels and the flicker of fire, all went dark, and the Sidhe vanished away!

Well, thought Jock, I know where a rowan grows. Surely there will be Sidhe feasting there! So holding his turnip-candle before him, Jock went through the woods to the rowan tree. Sure enough, as he approached, he heard singing and harping and laughter, but just as he got close enough to see the flash of jewels and the flicker of fire, all went dark, and the Sidhe vanished away!

Well, thought Jock, I know where a thorn tree grows. Surely there will be Sidhe feasting there! So holding his turnip-candle before him, Jock went through the woods to the thorn tree. Sure enough, as he approached, he heard singing and harping and laughter, but just as he got close enough to see the flash of jewels and the flicker of fire, all went dark, and a hand took his arm!

Jock struggled and twisted but even his strength was no match for the strength of the man who held him, and at last he gave over fighting and said, "Who are you? What do you want with me!"

And the Sidhe man said, "I am Aengus Og, and I want to know why three times you have disturbed my people and their friends at their feasting!"

"But I only wanted to join you," Jock protested.

"Join us, eh?" said Aengus Og, that is Fair Angus the way the English say it. "You can join us, right enough! Light your candle and you can join us, by leading us away to some place where we can feast in peace and undisturbed!"

So trembling, Jock lit his turnip-candle again, and all the Sidhe fell into procession behind him. Jock led them first to a clearing by a stream.

"Too damp!" cried the Sidhe. "Find a better place!"

So Jock led the procession, showing the way with his little turnip lantern on through the night, up on the high ben where the wind blew.

"Too windy!" cried the Sidhe. "Find a better place!"

So Jock, tired and weary, his teeth chattering in his head, led the procession, showing the way with his little turnip lantern on through the night, to a fine cave on the side of the mountain.

"Too dark!" cried the Sidhe. "Find a better place!"

So Jock, tired and weary, cold and hungry, led the procession, showing the way with his little turnip lantern, on through the night, and on, and on, and on, with each place he found not good enough, and all greeted with cries of "Find a better place!"

At last he had led them all over the land of his clan and his chief, and could find no place that met their approval. The candle burned down inside his turnip, and he was fainting from cold and weariness, and still the Sidhe were not satisfied with any place he showed them. Desperate now, Jock led the company to his mother's cottage and her little farm.

"This is the last place I ken!" he cried to the Sidhe, before they could say, Too wet, or Too cold, or Too windy, or Too dark, or anything else.

"This is the best place of all, Jock of the turnip lantern" said Aengus Og. "For this is your home and your hearth, and your mother waiting patiently for you. I hope you will remember this, Jock, and I hope you will stop your wanderings and roamings and help your mother. See what a fine cottage this is, see what fine fields you have, see what a strong cow you have -- and all through your mother's work, and none of your own!"

Jock trembled, because Aengus Og looked so stern and harsh, and Aengus went on. "You are always off to play and always off to dream. Instead of following a lantern all the night long, you should follow your mother and help her at her work. Every year now we will come to you here, and you will take your lantern and lead us here to your home and your mother, and we will bring meat and drink and feast here. And if you have worked hard and made your mother toil less, then every year we will give you a golden coin for each cycle of the moon, when you have led us to our feast." Then Aengus frowned, and if he was bonny when he smiled, he was terrible when he did not. "And if you have not helped your mother, and minded your manners and done your chores, then you will lead us all the night long, with never a bite or a sup, as you have done tonight!"

"I will," Jock promised. "I will that, I will help my mother, I will guide your procession!"

And then Jock's mother brought out food and drink and her own harp from the corner, and the Sidhe made merry for the night.

And Jock became a good man, who held house well and worked his mother's fields, and tended his mother's cow. He cut the peat when he should, instead of roaming off up the mountain. He brought fish for the table instead of dreaming over his hook all day.

And every year, on Samhaine, he led the Sidhe around the village and into his mother's house, and every year they feasted and gave blessing on Jock and his mother. And every year, the people of his village could see him go by, with his turnip lantern bobbing and flickering, as he led the Sidhe to their feasting place.

Rain!

2009-10-08T12:18:00.004-05:00

Wowie! It's a good thing I enjoyed the sunshine yesterday, because last night, the storms moved in.

It rained, and it rained, and it rained .... As A.A. Milne says in Winnie the Pooh.

And my favourite little rain chant:
The rain is raining all around
It falls on field and tree.
It rains on the umbrellas here
And on the ships at sea!

Rain always makes me smile. Icy cold or soft and warm, little misty dribbles or pounding driving drops, it's all good.

But rain also always makes me think, so here's some of the stuff I thought of today!

A few drops of essential oil in the toilet reservoir, or a little liquid potpourri; smells good!
Inexpensive mild or unscented lotion, with some lavendar leaves crushed into it
Cheapie baskets, or thrift-store baskets, or hand-made honeysuckle vine baskets, with ribbon laced through the weaving or the handles (right now, orange and black and harvesty colour ribbon!)
Unpick a short seam on a stuffed toy, and push in a few tablespoons of a yummy herb like lavendar, or a dried vanilla bean, or some sage, and then sew it back up; or do the same with a throw-pillow
Clean one closet, top to bottom, side to side. Pack up seasonal clothes; sort out charity or yard-sale items; cut up favourite but unwearable clothes for quilt blocks to use later as bed covers, placemats, or even pot holders

Have a lovely rainy day!

Gardens and Bantams

2009-10-07T13:53:00.006-05:00

So far it's been a busy week and it's only Wednesday.

We drove up to the VA hospital in Kansas City on Monday. Cat had a bone scan as part of a general "let's make sure you're staying healthy" thing, and I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon about fixing a few more details of my reconstructive surgery.

I also started the first of my raised beds! Eventually I will have four beds that are 8 blocks x 1 block x 2 blocks high. Here is the first one.

What I did was mark out a spot that's sunny most of the day, and away from cedar needle shedding. Then I spread out a hunk of plastic and stripped the turf to use near the steps that replaced the old busted up ramp. Then I dug out about a hand's breadth deep pit where I'd marked out. Horribly hard, which is why I've decided, no more digging! Instead I'll be using more blocks!

Then I raked it as smooth as possible. Then I spread a buncha old newspapers. I layered them about 6-8 sheets deep. Then I spread the dirt I'd saved from digging out, plus some potting soil, plus the worms I found when I dug. I stirred it up good, raked it over again, and I'll keep adding to this bed and making the others, throughout the week.

A friend suggested I contact Habitat for Humanity about used or leftover cinder blocks. They may be cheaper (even including gas for the longer drive to get them) than the new blocks, and any money spent at a Habitat facility goes right back into helping people in your area get going on their own homes. So there's an added benefit right there, you know?

I also got the wood from breaking down the ramp sorted out, and I'm going to start on my banty house prolly this weekend. I've been through about a zillion plans on paper, but what it's going to come down to is the wood itself. I want to avoid cutting as much as possible, so likely I'll build the frame for the banty house based on the lengths of the existing 2x's. This way I'll end up only having to cut the plywood, which frankly, is easier -- even though plywood is bigger, it's easier to cut through, and I won't be as likely to lose control of the circular saw.

As I construct the banty house, which will really be more like a giant rabbit hutch, I'll take photos and keep a running how-to going.

Meantime, I'm going outside for a bit to enjoy the October sunshine!

Breaking Ground

2009-10-06T09:40:00.004-05:00

Over the weekend I started the first of the raised beds for next spring's garden. For the last several years we've either grown things in containers on the deck, or fought with clay soil (there used to be a brick factory in this county, what's that tell you?!) and the webs of cedar roots, and stones and in addition to all that the cedar needles themselves, which I swear, can mulch out even crabgrass.... Awful!

Yet I know that it's possible to garden successfully even here. I liked the idea of raised beds all along, but making them seemed like such an expense, and such a pain in the neck! Then I got to studyin' on the whole thing, as my dad used to say.

Yeah, building the raised beds initially may cost me a bit. There are some things I can't do, either physically or because the land here is the way it is. For instance, a lot of raised beds are made from landscape timber or railroad ties -- hard to get here, and hard to cut to size if needed, and hard to stack to height without some form of support. So I went to the local building supply store and talked with the folks there.

The kid (okay, okay, he was prolly 25 or so) in charge of the lumberyard said, "Sure, I know exactly what you mean, and we do have those things. People usually buy 6 per side. Then they use a big drill bit and go through each timber at each end. Then they pound a rebar into the ground, and drop the timbers over that rebar, so that it runs up through the holes. For the ends, they do the same thing, and of course you'll need a chainsaw to cut the timbers to size. Most people redo their beds every couple years, as the timbers end up rotting out. It makes great compost, though, as they weather and break down ....."

I thought, You gotta be kidding me... No way can I pound anything farther than about 4 inches into the ground; we practically have to dynamite to set a fence post around here! You gotta be kidding me, drill through a 3 inch thick slab of wood? Not only do I not have a bit that big, I don't have a drill capable of doing it. Use a chainsaw? Please, I no longer have "Incredible Hulk" upper body muscles. And so on. Oh, and then he mentioned the price for the timbers. Yeah riiiiight! And replace them every two or three years? No!

So I said, What about cinder blocks? And he blinked and said, "You know, you may have something there. They won't rot out, so you'd never have to start your beds over. But they're awful heavy, and if you're working alone...." He trailed off, you could see he was trying to be diplomatic.

Then he mentioned the price -- and you know, even without buying a drill, rebars, and a chainsaw (that I'd have to con someone else into using) it seems that concrete blocks, or cinder blocks as they're sometimes called, end up costing just a tad less than the timbers would. Plus, sometimes if you keep your eyes open, you can pick up "used" ones, from demolition sites or whatever.

So I bought a load of twenty, drove home, and unloaded 'em. Next day Cat and I decided, Hmmm, one block-height sure isn't a lot. Maybe I'd better dig down a bit.

Oh, what a dumb idea... completely defeats the purpose of the raised bed, because even digging down the width of my own hand -- cedar roots, rocks the size of small children.... You get the idea.

But I did perservere, and once I had the turf stripped and moved to a bare spot elsewhere, then I got out a buncha old newspaper. Out here, the local merchants have what they call "mail throwaways", which are baiscally freebie newspapers. One thing they do is avoid shiny paper, and they use soy ink (even some coloured ads are printed with soy ink) so we've always used them to line the glider cage, and to help the compost along and so on. I had lots, so I spread 'em out, set the blocks in place, and put a layer of dirt on top, and some worms.

I'm started! It'll stay mild here till bout Halloween, and that'll give the worms time to get to work. And I decided that the other beds will just be 2 blocks high, and no digging! To make things less painful overall, I'm just going to buy a few blocks every month when we go to town, and enjoy playing with the beds until it snows.

When it does snow, I'm going to take a large-ish plastic bin, drill a buncha holes randomly in the sides (with my little drill, that will hold a 1/2 inch bit and not make me nuts) and make a worm farm. I'll fill the bin with shredded paper, ordinary dirt, maybe some "potting soil", kitchen compost, and so on, and stir it around some. Then I'll go to a live-bait place (living on a recreational lake, it's never hard to find a bait store) and buy a pint of fishin' worms, and put them into the bin, and let 'em have fun!

That's really not much different from the worm farms my brothers made back on the farm. The only real difference is, they used scrap lumber to make their bins, and I have this old sorta cracked plastic tub. Oh... well... One other difference.... I don't have to keep track of which is "our worms for fishin'" and which is "garden worms". They'll all be my worms!

Pictures to follow soon!

October is Breast Cancer Month

2009-10-02T10:34:00.007-05:00

I'd like to tell you a little story.

In 1998, on a summer afternoon, I found a lump the size of a US dime in my right breast, near the underarm side, when I was showering. I immediately called the doctor and was scheduled for an ultrasound and mammogram the following Monday.

By that Monday, the lump was the size of a US quarter. It was fairly hard to find even on ultrasound because it was against the chest wall, and buried in layers of muscle. I've always had good upper body strength, but that very strength made it hard for them to find the lump.

Eleven days later, I had a biopsy with excision, which means that they took out as much of the lump as they could find, and then checked it in the lab.

When I woke, the resident who had assisted with the procedure said, "You did have a walnut-sized lump there, and I don't really like the look of it, but we're going to do what we have to do."

I was astonished. I'd done everything right. There was no history of this on my mother's side of the family. I'd never taken birthcontrol pills or any other hormones. I ate right, I was active, I didn't smoke much, I'd nursed my baby for almost two years. I checked my breasts every day in the shower. How could this happen? How could it grow from dime to walnut in a total of 16 days from the time I found it?

The results of the biopsy came back; the cancer was already in end-stage, and had spread not only into the lymph nodes on the right side of my body, but also into muscle tissue.

At my next consultation -- by now it was September -- there was not only the head of the oncology department, there was also a legal aide and a chaplain present, because, as they informed me, I would need to make a will, since I would be dead by December.

I looked at the three doctors, the paralegal, and the chaplain, and I said "Fuck you, I am not going to die."

It was the first time I had ever used that word -- outloud or otherwise.

A treatment plan was devised, including chemotherapy, surgery with immediate reconstruction, chemotherapy, radiation, and chemotherapy again.

I consulted with the reconstructive surgeon and tried to explain my lifestyle and why I wanted the reconstruction done a certain way. I had assumed she listened.

I consulted with the oncology team and reviewed the drugs they'd chosen, including Taxol, which was a drug I was familiar with as a pharmacist. What I didn't realise at the time was that the treatment they'd planned -- in response to my rather pungent comment at the first consult -- was so aggressive that they had needed to get special authorisation to use the dosage they planned, because it was so very high.

Lynk was too young to drive a car at the time, and Cat has epilepsy, so she can't drive at all.

So every 10 days by the calendar, regardless of day of week, I made the two-hour drive to the hospital, sat for four hours with an IV catheter in my arm, to have poison run into my body. The IV cocktail consisted of diphenhydramine to help combat nausea and the horrendous headaches caused by the chemotherapeudics, as well as normal fluids to help with dehydration. And then I drove home.

I'd get nauseated just as the drugs began to flow, then I'd get sleepy from the benadryl, then I'd wake up a bit and feel itchy all over, inside my skin. Then I'd get some orange juice (shoving the IV pump computer around with me) and then they'd finish the drip, and I'd smile and say Thanks, and drive home. By the time I'd pull up to the house, I'd have a headache so bad that I could barely think or do anything beyond the automatic acts of habit.

The day after chemo would be worse. I'd be so ill that sometimes I'd actually wet the bed rather than get up and walk an entire 10 steps to the potty in my own bathroom. The second day would be better, and things would ease off a little at a time, and just as I felt all right, it would be the 10th day -- and back I would go.

I had to discuss breast cancer with my 13 year old daughter. I had to explain it. I had to reassure her but prepare her for the "just in case" scenario.

I had to discuss it with my best friend Cat, and explain it, and reassure but prepare her, too.

After the second chemo visit, all food began to taste like dog feces smells. I am not exaggerating for dramatic effect, that's a fact. The smell of any food cooking made me violently ill, not only with nausea but with a stabbing headache. I ate primarily bacon, carrots, orange juice, and coffee, until nearly Thanksgiving. Cat and Lynk would try to do what they could to cook when I wasn't around, since I could eat, just not bear to smell the cooking. Sometimes what they fed me would stay down and sometimes it didn't. I took iron tablets and a women's multivit, and smiled.

Three days after the fourth chemo appointment, my hair fell out -- all at once. That was one of the most traumatic things that EVER happened to me. I was 36 years old, and my hair was coppery, browny, silvery -- and to my waist. It fell out. That was the only time I cried, and I did it alone, out in the woods, leaning against one of a pair of cedar trees that we call the Sisters.

Two days later, the REST of my hair fell out. Think about that. I mean all my hair, body hair, leg hair, underarm hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. I couldn't even go outdoors without dark glasses, partly because there was nothing protecting my eyes from wind, but mostly because nothing protected them from even winter sunshine.

Then, because chemo strips all fast growing cells indiscriminately, the lining of my intestines and mouth vanished, and my mouth and gums were further weakened by the iron stripping that occurs, since "fast growing cells" also means bone marrow and red blood cells for iron transport. My teeth loosened and came out. Then the lining of my vagina vanished. I was in absolutely incredible pain, as the vaginal walls literally stuck to one another and tore each time I moved.

At the end of October, the first round of chemo was over, and I had three weeks clear, on high doses of iron, prior to my bilateral radical mastectomy surgery. The surgery itself went well, but the reconstructive "surgeon" hadn't actually listened to me, had dis-counted my own knowledge of my body's ability to heal (I'd surprised other practitioners in the past with speed of healing; I'm fast) and had dis-counted my statements about my lifestyle and my own medical knowledge and experience. But at least I did wake up with breasts, and I believed the "surgeon" when she told me they'd settle and my body fat would take over. They had taken both breasts, some chest tissue, some back tissue, all the lymph nodes on my right side, tissue from my right arm, and even some tissue from down my flank, just to be sure everything was gone. Even at that, I was informed, they weren't sure they had gotten everything, and they weren't entirely sure it had been worth it anyway. Staff at KU could certainly use some training in patient interaction, I remember thinking that, fuzzily, because I wasn't even all the way out of the anaesthetic yet.

I made them let me leave the day before Thanksgiving. However excellent the Kansas City Missouri Veteran's Hospital is -- and it is SUPERB -- the same can't be said for the University of Kansas Medical Center. That is the worst hospital I have ever been in, with the worst nursing care, and the least competent physicians and surgeons -- and it is dirty. So by the third day, I wanted out of that place. It had nothing to do with the fact that some yuppy female was in there having cosmetic surgery, and cried -- I kid you not -- non stop, all the time she was awake, and screamed -- no, I'm not exaggerating -- every time she wanted a nurse.

So, a neighbor (also a breast cancer patient, and also a medical practitioner) took time off work and came to pick me up and bring me back to the farm. I had drains that I was supposed to take care of, but they were positioned in such a way that I couldn't reach the ones in my back -- so every morning after her shift, this same neighbor came and took care of the drains. Why? Because KU had "forgotten" to put in a request to the VA to authorise home care. The neighbor realised this about Sunday (I was really sort of out of it) and she called the VA herself, ranted about KU, and demanded that home care be provided. The VA had a nurse out to the farm the following day.

I healed, not as quickly as I'm accustomed to, but faster than the doctors had thought I would. I'd been fitted for dentures and they'd arrived, so I actually enjoyed Yule that year.

I'd had horrendous headaches and body aches. The VA oncology nurses and I decided that this was actually withdrawal from the chemo drugs -- just like withdrawals from recreational drugs. The VA nurses also noted down other things that no one had ever mentioned -- the vaginal issue, the short term memory loss and gaps. Prior to my insistence that these things be tracked and studied not just in me, but in all cancer patients, it had been assumed that this was due to the "emotional stress" of a "catastrophic illness", but as they tracked this, they discovered that the chemo drugs themselves could interfere with brain function and could strip even brain cells.

But on Boxing Day, since I was by then recovered from the surgery, I started chemo again.

Every 10 days, regardless of day of week and weather -- and let me tell you, Missouri winters can be capricious, either snowy and frozen, or rainy and warm -- in the same day! Every 10 days.

I remember at some point, someone mentioning that I should be grateful I'd lost my hair, and not my life. That is seriously the closest I have ever come to killing another woman in cold blood. I can't explain why, but the loss of my breasts was bad -- the loss of four feet of hair was devastating.

But I didn't, and I drove myself, every 10 days, to the appointments, and drove myself home, and went back to sometimes not even being able to get out of bed, not being able to taste anything but a metallic dog-shit flavour to everything, losing the hair that'd started to regrow, and being so tired I literally couldn't take care of my family sometimes.

That lasted until spring, and then I had another four-week break, prior to starting radiation therapy. One thing they don't tell you about that little treatment is, they are going to make PERMANENT tattoes in your chest to mark the grids for focusing the Xrays. To this day, I still have a couple of those horrible little black dots on my skin. And it HURTS, it's not like a regular tattoo. I can deal with pain, but I almost jumped off the table with EACH of the 16 dots.

And then, every day, six days a week, for six weeks, I drove the two hours to lie for 15 minutes under deadly radiation.

After 5 days I had burns. After 9 days I had blisters the size of my palm on my chest, neck, upper arm, underarm, breast, and even on my back! Even I don't want to contemplate what my insides must have looked like at that point.

The burns hurt to the point where I'd take off my shirt to drive home. I didn't give a damn if I got stopped, either, because even cloth touching those burns was more than I could take.

That ended, finally. But I was sicker from the radiation than I had been from the chemo, and my hair fell out again. And I was lucky to keep any food down by then, but Lynk and Cat kept feeding me, so I kept eating.

I had another four week break, and then I had another six weeks of chemotherapy.

My immune system was so compromised at that point that I wasn't even allowed to attend school events for Lynk, so Mrs. Lloyd, the mother of one of Lynk's best buddies, who was also a teacher at this small country school, well, Mrs. Lloyd took Lynk to school events, and helped Cat so that she could go too, so that SOMEONE would be there for Lynk's special moments.

Then I had nipples created for my breasts, but the funny thing was, when the VA surgeons saw what the KU "surgeon" had done, the first words out of the mouth of the poor inexperienced resident? "My god, what did they do to her!" Then he blushed and apologised. I told him, "Honey, you hit the nail on the head."

And then, one year to the day from the time I found the dime-sized lump, it was over.

I hadn't died when they said I would.

I hadn't lost weight and become dangerously malnourished because my family wouldn't let me.

My hair was coming back again.

Two years ago, I got into the hands of a wonderful plastic surgeon at the VA. He undid all the damage that the "surgeon" from KU did.

Today, I have nice breasts. I've got hair, though it's only to the middle of my back even now, and it's a bit different colour.

Tomorrow I will be 46 years old.

I wasn't even supposed to make it to 36.

Pets, Pets, Pets

2009-10-01T19:33:00.007-05:00

Visions and Biddy, having some fun with a shipping box

I got to thinking about pets in general this week, and about how sometimes people just really don't know what they're getting into with various animals.

So...

What Pet Is Right?

Where do you live?

City apartment, suburban home, country house, farm?

If you live in a city apartment or flat, you may have to pay a large pet deposit for pets such as dogs or cats. Cage animals may be more appropriate. These include animals like Sugar gliders, Hamsters, Ferrets, Birds (no, none of them smell, if properly cared for. I've had all of them, and they don't smell bad.)

Tropical fish, Goldfish, Salamanders (no, they don't cost a fortune, but keeping aquaria healthy does take some work)

Snakes, Lizards (no, they don't HAVE to have live food, and they are easy to care for, but remember, snakes never stop growing, and all reptiles can have skin issues)

If you live in a house, or on a farm, your scope for pets is a little larger. You may find that dogs and cats are just the thing for your family. Just remember, cats and dogs are cats and dogs. They're not mini-humans, and however smart they may be, the DO have hard-coded instincts.

One side note for farm parents -- be careful of children who become attached to livestock. It does happen. If it happens in your household, you're going to have to make a decision -- do you butcher or auction the animal as usual or do you keep it as a pet? While it's true that chickens and calves and piglets and kids are raised for the table, it is sometimes also true that a child becomes attached to an animal. Think about this NOW, and try to work out how you'll deal with it, if it happens.

Does anyone have any allergies?

If you have allergies to pet dander, then you may not want furry pets. If you're allergic to "everything out there" then even an aquarium might not be a good idea for you, because there is always algae in a healthy aquarium, and it can become airborne, no matter what. You may find that insects, tarantulas, or reptiles will work better for you.

How old are our children, if any?

Some pets just aren't right for very young kids. Anything that might bite if handled roughly, might not be a good plan with very young kids, because they aren't quite careful enough -- they're still learning to control their motor functions, including their fingers and hands.

Some cats do great with kids. So do some dogs. But some dogs don't appreciate children, particularly if the dog was in the family first! And some dogs take almost as much care as a child to begin with, so think carefully before you get a dog or cat.

Pet Training
Cage animals don't have to be trained, obviously. And most of them aren't quite intelligent enough to be trained.

Housetraining
However... Cats, Dogs, and Pot-belly pigs, can, and should, be housetrained. If you provide a clean sandbox, and feed your cat at set times, then within an hour of feeding, the cat will be ready to use the box. If he starts to squat anywhere other than the box, pick him up and put him in it. Eventually, in about three days, even the dumbest kitten figures it out. If you have older cats, they may actually help train the newer cat.

Dogs and pigs, the most common pets, are even easier to housetrain. Feed the pet at specific times. Within an hour of eating, the pet will show signs of needing to go out. They'll sniff around, they may whine, they'll go to the door if they can smell outside. We've trained our dogs to scratch the door when they need "ou'side", and we've found that the older dogs will teach newer dogs the same thing. Pigs will also do this, though of course they make a funny little grunty noise, instead of whining.

Leash, Come, Sit, and Stay

You may or may not be able to teach a cat these things. However, if you live in town and the cat goes outside, you will still need to teach the cat to accept a leash and collar or harness -- for the cat's own safety.

Dogs (and pigs) can be trained, and have to be. First, put the collar on the dog or pig, and let him wear it for an hour or so -- and do nothing else. After an hour, clip the leash on, hold the end, and again do nothing else. After about ten minutes more, you can begin teaching Come.

And that's ALL you do for the first week. The second week, you teach Sit, and keep working on Come. The third week you teach Stay, and keep working on Sit and Come. The fourth week you teach Heel on the lead, and keep working on Come, Sit, and Stay.

There are literally thousands of pet training sites out there. Just keep in mind, animals are not people. They can be taught to interact with people, and other animals, but their hard-coded instincts are part of the reason we keep pets. We like the fact that dogs are protective, cats are social, and pigs like company. That's why we choose those pets. But the fact is, that protective dog might frighten or bite if not trained. That social cat might decide the middle of the floor is a good litterbox. That company-loving pig may decide your son's bed is the only place for a pig to sleep. So train your pet, gently but firmly, and remember, do not ever strike a pet.

And again, for farm families, try to teach that yes, some animals are there to provide food, and that a heifer may get agressive if her calf is threatened, a sow may bite if she thinks someone is going to hurt her pigs, and even a chicken can get pretty mean if provoked.

Pet Grooming
All pets have to be groomed. Some animals do this themselves -- hamsters, birds, sugar gliders. But some pets need our help.

Snakes and other reptiles, for instance, need something slightly scratchy at least once a year, so they can wiggle and squirm out of their old skins.

Fish don't generally need much grooming, but you may have to add "slime" or "ick-medicine" to their water from time to time. This keeps them from getting infections, and keeps their scales and skin healthy.

Pigs need to be bathed monthly, and may need to be brushed periodically with a soft-bristle brush. Their hooves need to be checked, too, and trimmed -- professionally -- to keep them healthy.

Dogs and cats, of course, have to be brushed at least weekly, even for short haired cats, and dog breeds like chihuahuas. That helps loosen old, dead skin, and old, dead hair -- just like brushing your own hair does for you. Brushing them also helps keep shed fur off your furniture and out of the air.

They also need their nails trimmed, very carefully. If your dog or cat has "dark" nails, and you can't easily see the little pink line that is the network of tissue and blood vessels -- then don't trim. Let the vet do it.

Dogs and cats shouldn't be bathed much more often than monthly. Their skins, and bodies, aren't used to that, and they'll get dry itchy skin, and be uncomfortable.

Dogs, cats, and pigs all need flea-tick-mosquito protection. You can buy this over the counter, or you can buy it from your vet, but either way, follow the application directions EXACTLY.

Pet Care including Feeding, Exercising, and The Vet!

Almost any good commercial food will work for your pet. Remember, though, younger animals may need additional vitamins, and older animals may need some supplements. If you're not sure whether your pet needs such things, then check with your vet.

Cage animals need exercise. Small furry cage animals need a wheel to run in, or plastic roam-balls to run about in. Fish need enough room to swim freely. Birds need enough space to open their wings, even if they don't actually fly.

Cats need room in the house, or safe places outdoors to run, climb, and lie in the sun. (Yes, for cats, that does count as exercise.)

Dogs and pigs need space to run and play, jump and chase, and frisk around, even if it must be at the end of a long leash.

When you travel in a car with your pet, whether it's a few miles to a play area, or a trip to the vet, or anything else, then you need to be sure your pet is safe. Cage animals need to have their cage cover over the cage, and the cage needs to be fastened into a back seat with the seat belt.

Larger animals need to be in appropriately sized carriers, which also need to be fastened in securely. It is NOT a kindness to let your nervous cat or unhappy dog roam loose in the car. What if the animal gets in the way of driving? What if you have to stop suddenly? You wouldn't let a child bounce around loose in the car, so don't let your animal do it either, for their safety and for yours.

Keep your pet under control at the vet's. Just because other people let their animals and kids misbehave, that doesn't mean yours should. Keep your pet leashed or confined. That way you are still in control, even if other pet owners are not.

If your pet needs treatment or medication, then be sure you understand exactly what the vet wants you to do, and be sure you follow your vet's instructions. If you don't get it -- ASK! You're paying the vet for his services, and he's more than happy to explain and make sure you're comfortable!

Unless you have animals registered with certain breeding clubs, consider spaying or neutering your dog, cat, or pig. (Even rats, hamsters, sugar gliders, and ferrets can be spayed or neutered, by the way.)

And one last thing....

Over the years, I've discovered that some of the best cats and dogs don't have fancy pedigrees or high prices... They come from the kennel at the vet's, or from the animal shelter. They are often some of the most loveable, most intelligent, most wonderful pets to be had. The two best herding dogs I EVER had, were vet-mutts. Yet, they were so good at what they did that people offered me good money for both -- which I refused, of course; I need my dogs!

So, if you decide that a pet isn't feasible for you, you might instead consider contributing a little money to your local shelter.

Pets!

2009-09-28T14:52:00.004-05:00

On the back of Cat's neck, hitching a ride, is Scooter, the daddy. And, hitching a ride on Scooter's back is Skippy, the little girl joey.

This is Scrabble, the mommy glider, having breakfast.

Well! The internet almost works. I even called our ISP to find out if they knew what was up. They did, but alas, they couldn't do anything; seems this is a midwest-wide issue. Frustrating!
However, things will get better, I'm sure!

Since a lot of people wonder what a "sugar glider" is, I decided to post a couple of photos of Cat's gliders. Sugar Gliders are little animals about the size of a hamster. But, they're not mammals, they're marsupials. This means that while they give live birth, their babies are very tiny, and the baby, called a "joey", climbs up the mother's fur to get into her pouch, where it can nurse and grow fur and develope. Sugar gliders have long tails, and soft, fluffy fur. They have hands, and "hands for feet", and they have opposable thumbs just like you and me. And they have one more interesting thing about them -- They can fly! Well... They can't really fly. What they do is glide from place to place, by spreading their arms and legs out and stretching open a flap of skin between their arms and their legs, a little like a flying squirrel.

In the wild, gliders eat bugs, little eggs, little animals like shrews or tiny mice, fruit, flower petals, and flower sap and honey, or "sugar". Pet gliders eat basically the same things, but of course, their human friends provide their food. They bond closely with their human caregivers and even if there are several gliders in a household, they very much need human interaction.
Gliders come in any colour you can imagine, from the soft greys, like the gliders in the photos above, to pure white non-albino, to reddish, to well, anything! They are very social animals, and very sweet, and have very definite personalities. They play just like a child, monkey, dog, or cat, and unlike a ferret or a hamster, they actually bond with the person who cares for them. They can see colours, and their favourite colour is red or pink.

Most people have what are called "glider pouches" which are made of soft fluffy fabrics, and usually have a string that hangs round a person's neck. The gliders curl up inside the pouch and sleep or play.

You can find out more about sugar gliders online.

More Grrr!

2009-09-26T10:43:00.001-05:00

Wow, can we say frustrating?!

Somewhere along the line, the internet itself is having issues. Some sites load just fine, other sites refuse to load at all, and some sites are somewhere in the middle. I did a "tracert" through my command prompt, and the trouble seems to be around the Atlanta and Dallas "secure servers", so omg, haxorz? or what? It's not just me having these issues, obviously, but boy is it ever annoying. When things clear up, I'll have more pictures and more fun "How To"s but for now, it's just too much of a tooth-grinder!

Have a happy weekend, though, everyone!

Grrr!

2009-09-25T22:20:00.001-05:00

The Internet and I are having an arguement. Let's hope it fixes soon!

Door Snakes!

2009-09-23T14:09:00.003-05:00

It's just barely starting to get cold. I love the cold season; it always means special things and exciting holidays.

But where I live, cold weather can be a problem, so one of the things I do is make "Door Snakes". These are little "tubes" that lay at the bottom of doors to keep the drafts out. You can buy them, for a pretty hefty chunk of change, or you can be stingy like me, and make them!

First, measure across the bottoms of the doors these will be used on.

Now, go through your scrap material, old clothes, whatever, and find some fabric. You will need a piece of fabric that is 10" x (the width of the door) + 8". You can use 1 piece of fabric, or you can sew a lot of little scraps together to get this size.

You need 18" of ribbon, cute string, or whatever else tickles your fancy, to tie the ends of your snakes.

You need old grocery bags, batting, old stuffing, or cut up fabric scraps for stuffings.

Now, lay out your piece of fabric, right sides together, in a long rectangle. Sew down the long side, and then turn and sew back. Turn it right side out.

Now you have a tube. Stuff it with your stuffins! Pack the stuffing fairly tight, from each end, until it's as wide as the door. Remember to leave about 4" free on each end.

*If you are completely NOT into sewing, then you take a piece of cloth that is 20" wide instead. You put your stuffings on it toward one long edge. Then you roll it up like a burrito or a sushi roll, and tie the ends as below*

Take your ribbon or string and gather the end of the snake tube. Wrap the ribbon twice round the tube, and pull tight, then tie a hard knot, then a bow. Repeat on the other side.

You're done!

These can be tossed in the washer BUT if you stuffed your snake with plastic bags DO NOT put it in the dryer unless you un-stuff it first!

Rainy Days

2009-09-22T13:15:00.008-05:00

Wow! Yesterday was a wild day for weather. About noon, it got dark as night, and then there was an awwwwwwesome light show, followed by a lot of pounding rain. Nothing like those poor folks over in Georgia are getting, but definitely unexpected. It's naturally too wet now to set the steps for the back door, but ah well, it'll dry.

But I like rainy days. They always make me think some, and with it being fall anyway, and feeling the "cleany bug" start to nibble at me, I was thinking a little about clutter and organising and cleaning.

So, after drying off two dogs, demudding an escaped kitten, drying off the first dog again, and then doing my morning workout and deciding it wasn't worth mopping floors either yesterday or today, I thought I'd sort through the stuff I keep house with.

Cleaning Supplies

Don't get silly about household cleaners. Yeah, you can use ammonia and old newspapers to clean windows. And you can sweep the carpet with a broom. And you can walk to town. And you can find a surgeon who'll do a procedure without anaesthesia!

For goodness sake why? For the most part, you DO NOT save money or time, either one, with those ridiculous "Make it at home! Make it out of your pantry!" cleaning formulas. You MAY do something helpful for the environment, but even that is debatable; cleaning solutions, even "organic" ones, are still cleaning solutions, and if they kill germs, they kill ... hmmm Things other than germs too, perhaps?

You may end up spending more on making them and finding a container to put them in, you create clutter by having to hold onto "things you're going to make into cleaning products", and then you waste time using them, because they do not, in fact, clean as well as commercial formulations, so you generally have to keep working harder to clean with them. I've been keeping house for 40+ years, and I've tried everything, from every "make it yourself" post or blog or site I've ever seen, and in the end, my time is too valuable to waste on products, home or purchased, that make me work harder.

Now, this doesn't mean you shouldn't look for "green" alternatives, or that you shouldn't experiment with make-it-yourself things, and it doesn't mean you shouldn't have fun making some things, like personal grooming stuff, for yourself. But it does mean, don't clutter yourself out of house and home, and don't spend all your time WORKING instead of PLAYING. It's supposed to be fun and rewarding to be a home-maker. It isn't supposed to drive you into insanity!

Most households don't need a lot of fancy specialised cleaning products anyway. Also, while some brand name products really are better than generic store-brands, that's not always the case. They generally have the same formula, but one has better advertising and a higher price.

Try things out. If your family is allergic to one kind of laundry soap, try another. If the pine-cleaner that costs half what the name brand does, can do a great job on your floors, then why buy the name brand? And as for the paper towels, just buy the cheap ones. The whole point of paper towels is that you're throwing the dirt away.

If you have environmental concerns, then look for "Green" products. They will be labelled clearly, and while they may cost a little more, they may be worth it to your conscience and your sense of what is right.

You really don't need much more than this list of things to keep your house clean and sanitary. In fact, the more stuff you have, the more stuff you'll feel compelled to use -- or feel guilty about if you can't or don't use it. So just get rid of it. The idea is to save money, time, and headaches, so you can get on with the fun part of life, like quilting, squirting your kids with a giant water pistol, making love to your partner, or daydreaming!

Most households need:

Vacuum cleaner, bags, and belts
Carpet cleaner, belts, and cleaning solution
Broom and Dustpan
Mop and bucket
Floor cleaner
Bleach
Laundry detergent
Fabric softener
Spray cleaner for upholstery
Dishwasher soap -- powder, liquid, little ball-bubbles
Dishwashing liquid
All-purpose spray cleaner
Window Cleaner
Pre-moistened dusting cloths (this may be one "make your own" that works; use lemon oil on old soft cloth; keep it in a sealed jar.)
Bathroom cleaner and Throw-away Toilet Brush
Oven Cleaner, or Coarse Salt set aside ONLY for this
Paper towels
Gloves
Trash Can Liners (some folks simply recycle plastic grocery bags for this)
Rag Bag
Bug Spray
Drain cleaner (But if you're scared of drain cleaners -- see below)
Light Bulbs
Batteries ranging from watch-sized to the 6-volt flashlight size
Flashlight
Kitchen-size Trash bags
Auto detergent (But mild dishwashing liquid works just fine)
Chrome Cleaner
Upholstery cleaner
Car wax

You may want to get a plastic caddy with a handle, or a little toolbox. In this you put the wipes, the spray cleaner, the bathroom cleaner, the air-freshener, your gloves, a few trash can liners, and the paper towels, so that you can carry it all with you easily as you go through the house.

Get a second plastic caddy and put the drain cleaner, light bulbs, bug spray, trash bags, vac bags, and all those packages of odd-sized batteries, into that. You can put the flashlight in there, too.

Car Stuff can be kept in a small plastic caddy or small tool box. It usually includes that fancy sponge your partner fell in love with and that special nozzle for the hose, too, so keep those in this caddy, so you can find them. It IS important to take care of your car's insides and body, just as important as taking care of the engine.

Stand the broom and mop upside-down in the mop bucket, and put the dustpan in there too. Hang the extra belts for the vacuum cleaner, on the handle of the machine, and do the same with any extra belts for the carpet-cleaner gadget.

Don't mess with stain pretreatments for laundry. Just pour a little liquid detergent on the stain. If that doesn't work, neither will a pre-treater -- and it's more likely the pre-treater will fade or ruin the fabric. The laundry detergent, bleach, and fabric softener should be kept near the washer and dryer.

Fabric softener sheets may be more environmentally smart; the cardboard box they come in will break down much faster than the plastic bottle the liquid is in. Slip the box of sheets into a heavy freezer bag to keep them from losing their scent and softener properties; some people use a "dryer ball" instead, but the appliance guys I've used for years tell me that they LOVE dryer-ball people... Because they have to call for repairs so often. Same with "washer dispenser ball" people. What the heck, hang your clothes outside! Eliminate both!

Pre-moistened dusting cloths really are cheaper than a can and a rag, and you throw the dirt away; however, slip the package or cannister into a heavy freezer bag, to keep them from drying out. If you compost, do NOT put these wipes (or any kind of wipes) in the compost.

Bathroom cleaner and Throw-away Toilet Brush -- Yes, throw-away brush or brush head. Do you really want that germy thing sitting around your house?

Don't goof with feather dusters, even the new "instant" kind put out by the cleaning products companies. Nothing will really make the dust stick to something like that. All you will do is put it in the air, and your wipes will do a much better job on surfaces, while your "old sock with cleaner on it" slipped over your hand, will do much better on blinds and dust-catchers.

Paper towels are so you can throw the dirt away, not keep it around; make your own by shredding "waste paper" or junk mail; add a little water, put it in the blender, then spread it on the back of a cookie tray, fairly thinly, and let it dry.

Trash Can Liners are a must, unless you love washing trash cans daily. Some folks simply recycle plastic grocery bags for this

The Rag Bag is self-explanatory. It should be a small (yes, SMALL) mesh-type laundry bag or drawstring bag, and when you cut up something cloth because it's worn out, you put it in the rag-bag. These are rags that you throw away after you're done, and you never keep more "old rags" around than will fit in your rag-bag. Hang it on a large plastic-coated cuphook that you screwed into the wall by the washer, to keep it visible but out of the way.

Drain Cleaner -- If like me, you are scared of the lye and horribly caustic chemicals in a drain cleaner, then don't buy that stuff. Instead, if you have a cloggy drain, first pull out everything you can with your fingers. Onion skins, strands of hair, artichoke leaves, whatever. Then pour 1/2 cup of baking soda into the drain. Pour 1 cup of vinegar, slowly, into that, and let the natural chemical reaction work. You can add more vinegar, or a little water at a time, till the clog is gone. Then run quite a bit of cold water so that the drain clears.

Anyway, that's the stuff I use around the house here. I hope it helps you figure out what you need to keep around, and what you want to keep around.

Now, I'm going to go curl up with a book and a cuppa. You should too!

Fall Potpourri and Spiritual Refresher

2009-09-20T12:07:00.005-05:00

A lof of people like to use simmering potpourris in their homes, or bowls of dried potpourri to just smell yummy. You can buy all kinds of fancy scents, and you can find scents labelled everything from "Christmas Tree" to "Spiritual Uplift", and so on. And a lot of them come with an "uplifting" price tag, too!

But I like to make my own scents and I enjoy collecting the "bits" to use in smelly-goody things, so I thought I'd share one of my recipes with you!

Who can't use a bit of "prosperity" in today's world? Maybe you want your fall bulbs to "prosper" over the winter so they'll be bright and blooming in the spring. Maybe you want a little mental kick-start to help you get a job. Maybe you just want to feel "prosperous and rich", because after all, positive thinking goes a long way!

Well, this little mixture should do that. If nothing else, the scent will give you a bit of a boost, and that's never bad.

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GENERAL POTPOURRI BASE

First, here's a general "potpourri base". I collect this stuff year round, and make sure it's dried. I used to dry it in the oven, but 2 weeks ago the old range just died after 15-odd years, and the new range doesn't have a pilot light. So now I dry things on a cookie rack, with a paper towel over it, and set onto a cookie sheet. This allows for circulation -- but you do have to watch out for curious cats.

Dried berries (BUT, don't use pokeweed or bittersweet berries because they are toxic. Instead use honeysuckle, juniper, even blackberries and tiny strawberries.)
Flowers or flower petals (any kind!)
Little pieces of wood or wood chips, or shavings from a wood plane
Cellulose "easter grass", also called basket stuffing
Tiny scraps of pretty coloured paper, even shiny origami foil
Tiny pieces of ribbon (you know how at the end of a ribbon roll, there's always like, 3 inches left? well, use it!)
Nicely shaped small leaves
Dried Burdock heads
Acorn caps
Teensy fir-cones or pine-cones

Now, be sure you've dried these things really well before you start. You don't want them to mold, and you don't want their own scents to take over what you're making.

PROSPERITY MIX

Take an odd number of the following kitchen herbs, and mix them together in a glass or ceramic bowl. (Don't use stainless or aluminum; sometimes those react with the volatile oils of various herbs, and they may change your scent.) These herbs are associated in some religions, and in folklore, with prosperity, wealth, and success.

Allspice
Anise
Basil
Bay
Cinnamon
Clove
Dandelion flower
Dill
Ginger
Juniper Berry
Marjoram
Mint
Nutmeg
Pine or Cedar needles (okay, that's not a kitchen herb, but hey!)
Rose petals
Sage

Don't grind them up, just bruise them a bit between your palms, and then drop them into your bowl of "base" items.

Now, take about two tablespoons of the coarsest salt you have in your kitchen (kosher salt, crystal salt, sea salt, it doesn't matter) and sprinkle that over your bowl of scent herbs and base items.

With your fingers, mix the base, scent herbs, and salt all around. You'll probably bruise things a bit more, and the sharp bits of the salt will also help break the cell walls of the plant matter, which further releases the scent, and in turn makes it cling to the ribbony bits and the little pieces of torn up paper.

Once everything's all mixed around, put your potpourri in a plastic zip-top bag, seal it, and label it. After about a week, the scent will have developed and you can use your potpourri.

You can simmer a handful at a time in your potpourri pot, or you can fill sachet bags with it, or you can put it in bowls around your house. And who knows, maybe the scent will inspire you to do well at a job interview, or remind you to take extra care of those bulbs you set, or make it more pleasant to pay your bills so you don't get charged a late fee or something!

Enjoy!

Apple Crumble Recipe

2009-09-18T20:09:00.005-05:00

Baby Visions, sunbathing after a hard day of getting in my way while I un-make the old ramp.
And, two little Apple Crumbles.

To make Apple Crumble:

1 Apple for each person to be served
1 Handful of uncooked oatmeal (NOT instant, NOT quick cook. Real stuff!)
2 TBLSP Flour
4 TBLSP Brown Sugar (White sugar and sugar fakes do not work for this)
1 TSP Butter
Cinnamon
Punkin Pie Spice
Hunny

Heat the oven to 400 degrees.
Put the butter in the pan you plan to use, and melt it, either in the microwave or the oven as it warms. (Obviously, no microwave for metal pans!)
Peel, core, and cut up the apple -- slices, chunks, whatever, about the size of your thumbnail.
In a small bowl, mush up the oats, sugar, flour, and spices -- more or less Cinnamon and Pie Spice to taste.
Pour the melted butter into this, and mush it around some more, till it's "crumbly". (Hey, where did ya think the name came from?)
Put a little Crumble in the bottom of the baking dish, doesn't have to cover completely.
Drop the apple bits onto the Crumble, then put the rest of the Crumble mix on top, sprinkling it around, until you've used up all the crumbly stuff and the apples are mostly covered.
Now, drizzle a little bit of the honey around the top -- not much, just some!
Bake at 400 for between 15 and 25 minutes, depending on how much you've made.

You're supposed to let it cool before you eat it, or scoop it onto your ice cream, or spoon whipped cream onto it.... S'yeah, riiiiight!

Enjoy!

Wrecking Bars!

2009-09-17T19:46:00.004-05:00

No, really only one.... Used by me, to pull apart an old ramp that led from ground level to the lanaii, or "sun porch". It broke itself one year under a six inch layer of ice and it's just been getting worser and worser, so to speak. The thing is, I never realised just how many little maintainence jobs I did around the Five-Acre Wood, until the whole breast cancer thing came along, and I ... well... Couldn't!

So now, a little at a time, I'm fixing all the things that went wrong over the years. I decided it'd be safer to buy precast concrete steps and just tear down the ramp, after all this time. I knew it wasn't going to be real easy but whew! did I sweat tearing that thing down.!

I can't help looking at the 4 big sheets of plywood, and the 2x's, and so on, and thinking, You know, I could use that stuff!!

And I could, too. When Lynk was little, she had bantams that a friend gave her. Over time, and with people growing up and going off to school and such, the little banties got given away or went into the stewpot, and their house got deconstructed. But now I have this neato wood, nothing really wrong with it... I can't help thinking I can build a little bantam hutch, and fence a little sunny corner of the garden.... Those eggs were SO good, so rich you can't believe it! And such a beeeeeyoootiful brilliant orange-yellow.!

If I decide to do that, I'll draw up the plans and take photos as I go, in case anyone else wants to make a "banty hutch". It'll be something like a rabbit hutch, but not quite as high off the ground, because the banties will need to run in and out of it. I think I'll make enough room for five birds total, but I plan to start out with just three.!

The trouble with banties is, they aren't like chickens. Chickens can be fertilised one time in their whole lives, by one rooster, but, banties have to be fertilised once every year! But yet, when you buy baby chicks, there's no way to find out if you have a little rooster -- or if you maybe have all roosters!!

It's kind of funny. When I was growing up on the farm, I used to resent cutting wood to heat with and cook with; carrying water for everything except the toilets (that and one tub-shower was the only "indoor plumbing" we had); canning and freezing food; gardening; milking; taking care of the chickens; all that stuff, I used to resent it and I'd say "Man, SOMEday....."!

But now it is "someday" and I want to go back and do all that stuff! I want to be only slightly dependant on technology and on other people... Slightly as in I could never ever do without the computer and the internet... but I'd love to do without everything else.!

Later this week, prolly oh, about Sunday, I'll put up some of the recipes and kitchen tutorials I mentioned. I haven't forgotten!!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Apples and Harvests

2009-09-16T13:06:00.014-05:00

Clone sitting pretty while I check the firepit; Apples ready to work with on the kitchen table

Fall is coming!

It's still warm out, even at night. But there are little signs that the season is
changing. For one thing, there's the rumble of tractors daily now, as local farmers
bring in the hay and soybeans and corn. Sometimes in the evening there's the sharp
smell of woodsmoke, as neighbors check and test their stoves for the winter.

And there are apples! Everywhere, there are apples, in every colour from emerald green to topaz gold to ruby red, and in every flavour from tart to sweet.

Centuries ago, when people's lives were circumscribed by the seasons, and not by clocks and calendars, the apple harvest was one of the first signs that summer was ending and the resting time of fall and winter was beginning.

Even today, if you stop a minute, and smell apples, and close your eyes and just breathe, you may feel the little stirrings and nudges within yourself that tell you fall is coming.

Some of us like to do a fall cleaning around this time of year. Well... No one actually likes to clean. What we like is the results of cleaning!

But here's a quick list of things you may want to do or check or organise, now that kids are back in school and the season is changing and the smell of apples is in the air.

Check roofs, gutters, drains, and so on. If you can't see your roof from the ground,
borrow some binocs from someone; if you opt to climb a ladder and physically inspect your roof, be careful!

Check woodstoves, fireplaces, outdoor firepits, and woodpiles. Make sure chimneys, dampers, draughts, ash and ember trays, and so on are in good shape. Make sure there isn't any funny fungus growing on wood, and if there is, discard that log; let it compost and break down, but don't burn it!

Go through closets and cupboards and sort out anything outgrown. You can have
yourself a little yardsale, or you can donate these items to a charity, church, or grove-circle. Sort out seasonal clothes (but don't store them away just yet, you know if you do, the weather will change drastically!) and do any mending needed.

Have the oil in your car (or in my case, your TRUCK!) changed, and have your tires checked, and have your radiator checked.

If you like to cook and bake, now's a good time to sort through pans and supplies, and make sure you have ingredients on hand. (More about cooking and baking in the next few days!)

Start your holiday gift crafting and sewing now! It's not as early as you think. I like to make a list in September, of all the people I plan to share my winter holiday with. I talk to them to get ideas of what this year's interests are, or in the case of Visions, one of my bestest friends who's impossible to figure out gifts for, I ask straight out! Then I list off what each person wants or is interested in, and start looking for the items, or collecting the materials to make the gift. If you have people on your list who are just totally impossible to figure out, remember Gift Cards.... You can find a gift card for dang near anything, from online games to phone minutes to grocery stores to... well, if you can name it, there's probably a gift card for it!

And of course, some of us like to turn the house upside down and clean everything. I think I do this partly to antagonise my housemates -- after all, everyone's a slob but me! -- and partly as part of an "autumn nesting instinct" thing. I like to wash curtains, shampoo carpet, deep clean upholstery, and clean cupboards.

Whatever September and Fall mean to you, enjoy!